A year ago today I was well into my fitness training. I was motivated. I was exercising at an unearthly hour and I was eating healthy and very nutritious food. A year later and I don’t recognise that healthy woman.
If I saw her coming towards me I would probably run and hide with a massive bag of crisps in my hand, whilst shouting over my shoulder where she could stick her kale. I don’t recognise myself anymore; I don’t like myself. I could tell you that I don’t know what happened, but I do. The stress of selling our house took its toll and as a result I stress ate. I became a walking dustbin. I ate cakes and sweets and started worshipping all too frequently at the golden arches of McDonalds.
It’s All Science
I should be ashamed of myself and, believe you me, I am. However, I am also oddly reassured by a scientific study (yes, I have googled this, there is even an entire Reddit thread dedicated to people like me who have let themselves go) that stress does indeed make you eat more. We are biologically predisposed to eat more when under stress, it’s part of the fight or flight syndrome. If you want to fight, want to survive, you eat more.
Desperately Seeking Motivation
I like my food but sadly I am not one of those people who can eat everything she sees without putting on any weight. If that’s you, congratulations, I think I might hate you. I only have to look at a French horn and I can feel the lard building on my hips. I want to be able to eat nice food and so I need to exercise again. Yet, that motivation has been lacking. It’s not like me to lack motivation, I’m normally very proactive. I keep telling myself to get exercising and to put the doughnut down but I know that doughnut tastes far nicer than exercise feels.
I need to find that motivation, wherever it is hiding. Exercising is good for your mental health and I have noticed that my PMT is back with a vengeance as are my not so delightful pre-menstrual cramps. Also, it’s vain but I want to lose weight so I look better. I am lacking in serious confidence at the moment and carrying those extra pounds isn’t helping. I also have a dream of running a half-marathon. I call it a dream, perhaps a nightmare would be a more accurate description.
What can I do then? Well, I have googled it and Dr Google tells me that I need to move more and eat less. I haven’t really googled it but I know that’s what Dr Google would tell me. I need to start running again but I don’t feel confident to run outside yet so I need to get more in shape first. I have googled gyms and exercise classes and there doesn’t appear to be any in the area I am now living. Quite frankly time is tight. I already have to juggle my work around the school run and looking after the children. I need something that I can do at home. I did used to do an online exercise class but now my membership has run out for that and I am looking for a new one to do. I’m not sure where to begin. There are so many online classes and apps, which is brilliant but I want to make sure that I choose the right one.
2018 is the year I will get back in shape again. I need to do it. Wish me luck.