Week 4 of my Moonwalk marathon training was the week that I said goodbye to Gary growth. I fondly named my growth after Gary Barlow because like Gary and Take That he just kept coming back. Although, that implies that he went somewhere and that’s not true. Since Gary growth (which by the way has to be said with a Gary Barlow drawl, as in really slowly, G-a-r-y g-r-o-w-t-h) took up residence on my foot, he hasn’t left. Again, much like Gary who refuses to leave Take That. I’m joking about it but really I have been very stupid.
It was a growth. Not a verruca, not a corn, not a wart. It was a weird growth yet I left it for a year. I ignored it. I didn’t have the time to deal with it, I didn’t want to deal with it. That was stupid.
The training for this marathon meant that I could no longer bury my head in the sand. It was uncomfortable to run on. I needed to deal with it.
Now just like there is only one Gary Barlow, it turns out that there is only one Gary growth. The doctor, who credit to her, didn’t flinch, was almost in awe of the growth –
“I have never, ever seen anything like that in my life”
I felt special.
Unsure what to do she tried to freeze it off. As I mentioned in a previous post, this was painful and made Gary growth angry, yet he was stubborn and refused to leave.
Therefore, a couple of weeks later I was back in that doctor’s surgery. This time she took a photo of it on her phone. I feared that I was going to see me and Gary on the front of the Sun or even worse perhaps the doctor was going to upload the photo to her Facebook wall! It turned out that it was so she could consult (not laugh, I hope) with her colleague.
Finally, Gary growth was diagnosed. He is a cutaneous horn. That’s right, I have a flipping horn growing out of my foot! This might have led me to cracking lots of inappropriate jokes,
“I always said that I am horny”
Don’t worry, I managed to refrain from saying this to the doctor. This was a joke I cracked to Mr C. He found it hilarious because me being horny couldn’t be further from the truth. Sorry TMI.
Anyway, the horn is more like a nail growing out of my foot. Now you can understand why I needed to get it sorted. Google it and you will have nightmares for ever. I am lucky that mine was small and on my foot. The most popular age range for cutaneous horn is 60-70 years. I am in my thirties! Hence why the doctor was so baffled by why I had it. I swear that it is a Lego injury from all the times I have stepped on a bit in bare feet. The doctor wasn’t buying this. It is common in areas that have been sunburnt, yet I have never burnt my feet. It makes no sense. I am lucky that it wasn’t growing out of a more obvious part of my body. People have them on their face etc. You name it and you can probably grow a horn on it. These horns can be giant too. The largest one that has been documented was on a 76 year old Parisian woman named Madame Dimanche (Widow Sunday) in the 19th century, who grew a 25cm horn from her forehead! Mine was not big at all. I’m guessing because it was on my foot.
I am joking and making light of this but nothing gets past the fact that I should have dealt with this earlier. I shouldn’t have ignored it. The reason for that is that half of cutaneous horns are premalignant or malignant. I know, I’m stupid. I am sure that mine is fine but I still had to go and have a minor operation to remove it. This saw me lying on my front while my foot was injected with anaesthetic. Then Gary growth was cut out of my foot. However, Gary was stubborn to the end because something went wrong, the anaesthetic hadn’t fully worked and I felt it!
IT HURT! IT HURT A LOT!
It was Gary’s last hurrah. He was singing “I want you back, I want you back for good”. Anyway, Gary is now on his way to a lab and I have ten days to wait before I find out if it is sinister. I am sure it isn’t. I have googled it rather a lot and now have an encyclopaedic knowledge of what the bad ones look and feel like. Saying that, I will be pleased when the 10 days are over.
Despite having a minor operation you will be pleased to know that I still carried on with my Moonwalk training. I know, I deserve a gold star! I was just careful and made sure that I took it a bit slower.
Week 4 Vlog – I share what I have learnt so far
Week Moonwalk training plan
Sunday – Relax and stretch
Monday – 5 miles
Tuesday – 30 mins rowing
Wednesday – 5 miles walked
Thursday – 30 mins rowing
Friday – Relax and stretch
Saturday – 8 miles
Total miles – 18 miles
Are you training for the moonwalk? I would love to hear how you are getting on.