Living on a small island after living on the mainland can be a bit of a shock to the system. Jersey is an amazing island but boy is it small, with that comes problems. A very specific set of problems.
26 Struggles of living on an island
- You are late dropping your children off at school because of the traffic jam….consisting of a herd of cows and a tractor. Mooooooove along now.
- However, when you return to the mainland and you find yourself on a motorway you FREAK out. “So many lanes, what am I supposed to be doing?” You also find yourself getting tooted at because you are still driving at your island’s speed limit of 40 miles per hour. 70 miles just feels too fast.
- When you are planning on leaving the island for a holiday and you have to allow extra days on either side. This is in case you are unable to get off the island due to fog, rain, wind or because the ferry has been cancelled, AGAIN!
- If you see more than 5 people on the beach you proclaim that the beach is too busy.
- When you discuss going to the other side of the island but decide against it because it will take 20 mins and that’s a lot of effort – “That’s a long way away”
- When you go back to the mainland and find a Yo Sushi. Oh happy days.
- I’m not a tourist! When you first move to the island you are very keen to point out to everyone that you are not a tourist, that you actually live here. This is your island. You then develop a love hate relationship with all tourists. They bring a buzz to the island but then their hire cars means that you sometimes find yourself sitting behind them going at 5 miles per hour as the tourists shout “these lanes are so narrow, I’m going to scrape the car. I should have taken out excess” A side note- my Mum and Dad were these people. They drove to the hotel and then refused to drive anywhere else. I had to run them everywhere.
- Your phone signal drops at the most inopportune moments “then your father showed me his…..”
- You are very upset that the island is not like how it was on Bergerac and none of the detectives drive round in a red Triumph.
- When you return back to the mainland you find yourself acting like Will Ferrell in Elf when he arrives in New York. You are confused and dazed.
- Your number one enemy is seagulls. The b&stards swoop in and poop on you when least expected. They would also steal candy from a baby.
- Everyone knows everyone. Every time you walk past someone in the street you will think that you know them but it’s probably that you have probably seen them every day for the last week.
- When you go to order something online and you go to select country and every country is on that list apart from Jersey!
- When you miss out on so many opportunities because of the stupid water stopping you from getting back. You mull over the idea of becoming John Travolta so that you can just borrow a plane.
- When you panic if you haven’t seen the sea all day.
- When someone asks where you are living and you say Jersey and they tell you that you don’t have an America accent. I live in JERSEY not NEW JERSEY. They then look at you confused.
- When you show the children where we are in relation to other countries and then realise Jersey isn’t even on the map! Yep, it’s that small people.
- When you go back to the mainland and keep forgetting to lock the door of the car.
- When visiting family asking if you are stockpiling for a nuclear war. No, it’s just in case the ferries don’t get in.
- When Amazon Prime doesn’t mean next day but next week if you are lucky.
- When people think Jersey is part of the UK and you explain that no we aren’t. We are a crown dependency. Mind blown.
- When you tell people that we have our own currency on Jersey that includes pound notes.
- When you go back to the mainland and take the children on a train and they think it is the best thing ever and you are a little bit too excited as well!
- When you have glorious sunshine, torrential rain, gales and hailstones all in the space of ten minutes.
- It can be expensive. When the same pair of trainers that cost £100 on the island cost £40 on Amazon.
- When you can’t get the Guardian newspaper on the island. *Sobs*
Can you think of anything that you would add to the list?