The summer has fled and in its place has left a rather frazzled me. It’s fair to say that I have learnt a lot this summer. I don’t want to bore you with the whole woe is me jazz and I don’t want to throw myself a pity party, but you can read how I’ve been feeling rather overwhelmed here.
It’s good to talk
How I am feeling is completely normal though and I do think we should openly discuss our feelings. As humans, our emotions aren’t linear. We are always going to have ups and downs. I just need to get better at dealing with the downs. I am questioning if it is perhaps a little hormonal and, as such, I am taking some herbal shizzle to see if that helps. I’m also hoping that it helps the spotty skin and the ever-increasing weight gain. I seem to have regressed back to my teenage years. Not a look I really want to be modelling as a grown adult woman. It’s not good for one’s self-esteem and confidence!
I love talking!
But, I am going to have to find my confidence rather quickly, and I need to dig out the concealer, because I am going to be on BBC Radio Jersey this Friday at about 11:20, talking about the Jersey Festival of Words and blogging. We all know that I love talking on the radio. Normally, I would be over the moon. Any excuse to get out of the house and talk to an actual adult, face to face is always welcome. It’s nice to have a break from being so and so’s mummy. As much as I love being a mum! Working from home and being a mum can mean that I am rather limited when it comes to adult interaction. There have been times over the summer where I have felt incredibly alienated and isolated. Long days where I have been waiting for Mr C to come through the door so that I can talk at him rapidly, before handing the children over and continuing with my work. Yep, no greatest mum awards are coming my way for this summer. Although, the children haven’t complained once. They have loved the long days in the garden. Having a garden is still a novelty and it has really helped me with the juggling of work and entertaining the children. They have been having adventures, bouncing on the trampoline and launching water balloons at each other (and me).
I love my birds!
As you are probably aware, we have recently moved house and are now living in a completely new area. It’s beautiful but it’s very different from where we were before. I am slowly adapting to the country way of life, but there are times when I still feel very much like a townie. Mr C is not happy with my quest to adopt all of the local wildlife. We probably have about 50 birds that come for my bird seed. They like to sit on the wall above Mr C’s pride and joy, his new car, and he stands there flicking evils at my feathered friends, muttering about how they had better not crap all over his car. The birds aren’t bothered, they just sit there taunting him, flicking him the birdie. I still haven’t been able to tempt the red squirrels from next door’s garden. My neighbour told me that it was my substandard bird feeder. I suspect that it’s actually my inferior nuts.
The girls have started at a new school (they have been amazing) and as such it all feels very new. Like we are starting again. On the one hand that is incredibly exciting. It’s a chance for me to reclaim back some of my identity, I can start again with positive intentions. I’ve joined a local yoga class that starts in a couple of weeks and that feels like a good step. The thought of attempting to exercise in a room full of strangers, normally makes me want to flee for the hills. I want to try and establish some sort of new routine. There has been a lot of upheaval lately and it’s no wonder I’ve been feeling a little out of sorts.
I’m no Bridget Jones
I digress. I am really excited about going on the radio this Friday. Plus, everyone at BBC Jersey is so lovely and I know that they will be really welcoming. In the past the invitation to be on the radio has led me to have rather ludicrous Bridget Jones type daydreams. No, I’m not hoping that I meet Mr Darcy. Rather, that I am referring to how Bridget Jones finds herself suddenly working in broadcast journalism. Radio DJs make it look so easy but the reality is that it’s a blinking difficult job. I don’t know how they do it! Those big desks with all the knobs (I clearly need to learn the technical terms as this just sounds wrong) is enough to make me come out in fear sweats. How do they know which one to turn, and which slider to slide? How to they do all of that while talking seamlessly and calmly? I struggle with working out how to get Netflix on our television. I would be useless. I would probably end up cutting someone important off and swearing on air. Oh no, now that thought has popped into my head, I must not swear on air!
So join me this Friday as I talk on the radio and hopefully avoid showing myself up. When I told my dad that I was going to be on the radio he blithely informed me that I have a face for radio. Charming. No chance of me ever getting a big head around here. Spotty me is very much looking forward to it. All of the excited eeeeks. I can’t wait. Who wants to bet that I get no sleep the night before and spend all morning taking nervous wees before I go on air? Yup, I’m predictable as always…