This week has been a battle with Youngest. A battle of epic proportions. I love her, I love her dearly, but my goodness it has been testing. Firstly, she picked up some sort of bug that knocked her sideways. She just had a temperature and seemed very lethargic and had no interest in her food. Once she had shaken off the bug she still seemed very tired. This was probably due to the fact that she was now waking up in the night. This was a complete shock to the system and gave my broody disposition a reminder of why having another baby is not the sensible thing to do. I had forgotten how truly evil sleep deprivation is. However, this was nothing compared to the epic temper tantrums we were having from Youngest as a result of her tiredness. If we so much as looked at her funny it would set her off, arms flailing as she convulsed on the floor. It was during one temper tantrum that I had a stark realisation. I might actually be living with Trump. Not convinced? Here is my evidence.
Is Youngest, Trump or Trump, Youngest?
- We all know that allegedly Trump loves grabbing onto things he shouldn’t (there was the pussy quote). Don’t worry Youngest is not a sex pest. However, she does have a fondness for grabbing onto things that I have told her not to. In the past she has grabbed carrots from supermarket shelves and left her teeth marks on them. In fact, shopping with Youngest in the trolley is like an episode of Supermarket Sweep as she leans over the side of the trolley swooshing everything in her path into our trolley. I now have become an expert in navigating aisles so that she can’t reach the shelves. She grabs cake off my plate when I’m not looking and she once grabbed some felt-tips and drew all over her lovely GLTC oven and the carpet.
- Youngest is never wrong. Even if we know she is wrong, we can’t tell her this. She refuses to listen. She is right. Even if it is something really obvious, like she is wearing her knickers over her trousers and that’s not how we wear them. Nope, she will argue until she is blue in the face that we do wear our knickers over trousers. In fact, we are the ones in the wrong for wearing our knickers under our trousers. It is a completely farcical argument and we just have to wait and hope she sees sense. Sound like anyone we know? You can’t argue with Youngest and you can’t argue with Trump. The both say equally outlandish things (*in my opinion*)
- Youngest has a fondness for building with her Lego bricks. She just builds towers, the bigger the better (aka Trump Towers) and she likes building walls. Hmmm, the similarities, it’s getting scary now.
- Youngest has been known to make stuff up
“I live on the moon”
“Daddy said that I can get a dog” Cue panic from me. Actually, for that one I do hold Mr C responsible as he been showing Youngest YouTube videos of dogs. I bet Trump is more of a pussy man. He likes nothing better than watching YouTube videos of cats saying hello.
I digress. Youngest likes to make stuff up and it has been said that Trump also has a fondness for this. Some of the things that he allegedly said include the revelation that Obama founded Isis. Yep, equally as outlandish as when Youngest told the lovely old lady in the lift that she lived on the moon.
- Youngest likes to boast. Youngest will tell Oldest “I have the best Mummy in the world” Note: I did not pay her to say that. Oldest will then intervene with “she’s my Mummy too”. Youngest will retaliate with “No she’s not”, Oldest then argues back and this will go on for a good 20 minutes. Finally, Youngest closes down the argument by trumping it all with the biggest boast, “well Mummy loves me more”. Oldest points out that this isn’t true. Youngest then shouts “prove it!” In the next breath Youngest has closed down the discussion with,
“I told you that I was right”
How do you argue against that? We know that she is not right but how do we prove it? Youngest doesn’t care about facts. Sound like someone else? Trump has been known to boast about his penis. I much prefer Youngest’s boasts.
- Youngest likes to charge into things head first without thinking about the consequences. We have seen her jumping from dining room table to settee, licking the freezer door and drawing on my carpet. Sorry, I keep bringing the carpet up. I am in mourning for my carpet. We could say that Trump likes to charge about, jumping into things head first, presidency, travel ban, walls etc etc.
Actually, I could go on and on. However, where Youngest might have elements of Trump that is fine because she is a CHILD. How do I deal with Youngest when she is being all Trump like? I try to make her see sense by using logic and reason. What I have realised is that shouting at Youngest doesn’t work, we have to gently explain and keep tapping away until she eventually gets it. Let’s hope that Trump eventually gets it too.