I hit the wall.
A couple of weeks ago I took a week off. Did you miss me? Did you notice that I was gone? I realised that I needed a break away from the screen, time away from the frantic typing. I had loads of posts to write, and loads of ideas all fighting for space in my jumbled brain. Yet, when I sat staring at the blank screen nothing came out. The words didn’t flow, I didn’t lose myself in my writing. I was distracted and unable to focus. I was unable to write. It was a sign that I needed to stop, that I had blogger’s burnout.
Working as a blogger isn’t a 9 to 5 job. It isn’t simply about writing (as much as I would like it to be). It has evolved and become a giant of a job. Not only do you have to write your post, SEO it, promote it, Instagram, tweet, Facebook and Youtube it you have to try to fit this all into the realms of family-life. You have to stop it from taking over and that is actually hard to do. I have always been a workaholic and as a teacher I would work into the small hours of the morning, planning just one more lesson or marking just one more book. Now at some point along the line I replaced the hours of teaching with the hours of blogging and that’s not what I want for my family life. I have had a lot (well sort of) on my plate, training and walking for the Moonwalk marathon , the island walk, trying (not happening) to write a book, blogging, freelance writing and then the digital media course means that family time is being squeezed dry. I fear that my family time is now consisting of me acting frazzled and falling asleep when I should be playing a gripping game of Monopoly with the family.
I need to find a balance again. This is nothing new and is always something I have struggled with. However, recently it has taken a new level, so much so that I have found myself frustrated with my inability to switch-off and have debated deleting the blog altogether. However, I appreciate that would be me hitting the self-destruct button; something I am only too fond of doing in stressful times. This time I won’t let the stress get the better of me. This time I decided to take a break to try and slow the whirring cogs down in my brain to a minimum.
Therefore, when the words wouldn’t come I didn’t panic. Okay, there was some initial panic but after that I decided to embrace it. I should never blog because I have to, I should blog because I want to. A blogger’s life means that you can often become so immersed in the digital world that you forget to see the real world. I needed to shut that laptop and I needed to see the real world. So if I ever go a little quiet again, it’s because I am out there in the real world but don’t worry I will always come back here, sometimes though, we need to spread our wings a bit. The events of last week have reinforced how I’m feeling. We need to prioritise. We can’t do everything that modern life demands of us. We have to choose carefully what we prioritise. Family comes first.