Yup, that’s right I have some super exciting news to share with you. Mum, don’t get excited, sadly I am not popping (although let’s be honest, it’s never popping) another baby out. I know, sad times. I have woefully come to terms with the fact that my baby days are over. I did get my hopes up when Mr C brought home a new 7 seater car. I wondered if he knew something that I didn’t but alas, not even the purchase of a seven seater was enough to conjure up another baby. Let’s not get maudlin though and I shall focus on the many positives of not having another baby – coffee, sleep, wine and not necessarily in that order. I also suspect that Youngest would not adjust well to being a middle baby, she would probably evolve into Stewie from Family Guy and start plotting my murder.
So, no new baby. A new house I hear you cry? Sadly not, don’t even get me started there. We have had so many discussions, “do we stay or do we go?”. One such conversation started as Mr C barged into the bathroom as I tried to take a leisurely soak in the bath. I might have shouted “for the love of God man, is nowhere sacred?” and an hour later after forced discussion we were no clearer and my skin now resembled a prune. We then even investigated moving to New Zealand. Things got serious here for a while and it looked like New Zealand might be a serious option until we realised that it wouldn’t give us enough to justify us moving to the other side of the world away from family and friends. I find it stressful enough dealing with family members getting ill when I am just on Jersey; moving to New Zealand would be a whole other level of stress. Therefore, that too has been shelved, for now…..
However, not all is lost because we have finally decided that we can put roots down on Jersey. Yaaay. The only massive negative is that the Jersey housing market is ludicrously expensive and we can’t afford to buy a nice house with a garden. That means I have resorted to praying for a miracle or we will just have to carry on renting and paying an eye-watering amount for the privilege of having a garden and a leaky roof. Fun times.
A Baby Of Sorts…
So, we now know that my news isn’t baby or housing related. I have no plans to divorce Mr C (he might have other ideas) and I am still working as a freelance writer. What could this exciting news be? Well, I am really excited to reveal that one of my parenting tales has been included in a fabulous (and it really is) book called “We Need to Talk About the Conditions of My Imprisonment…and Other Funny Parenting Stories”. I’m so excited to have been included, although I am sure that it must have been a mistake and that perhaps there is another Emma out there who should have had the email and contract.
The book has been compiled by Michelle Tan, an award-winning writer and journalist. She has won national awards for her television scripts, short stories and novels and she has been published in some of the best-selling Parenting and Family Magazines. This book is hilarious and a must-read for parents everywhere. Do you know a new parent? Then you need to get them this book. Ditch all the “How to be a perfect parent” b*llsh*t books and read this instead.
This book spreads the message that being a parent and finding it hard doesn’t mean you are alone. The stories pay homage to the fact that parenting might not be perfect, but it can still be really funny.
The book launches on the 21st April, and there is an exciting book launch taking place on the same day at XSCAPE, Yorkshire. The book will be available to buy from Amazon and Barnes and Noble. You can also pre-order the kindle edition of the book right NOW from Amazon.
That’s my exciting news. I feel very honoured to have been included in such a fantastic book amongst some amazing writers. If you want to find out the parental gem of a story I shared, head over to Amazon and get that book pre-ordered.