How The Hunted TV Programme Is Like Parenting

I love the Channel 4 programme ‘The Hunted.’ For those of you that haven’t watched the programme it follows Brits as they go on the run from our surveillance state. Now, for someone who is a prolific user of all social media I am fascinated by this idea. Why? Because deep down (believe it or not), I am quite private. I am also rather distrustful with the level of surveillance we are all under which is one of the reasons why I refrained from joining Facebook for so long. I have been thinking about The Hunted and why, as a mum, I would make the perfect contestant:

• On the run means you remain undetected. Have you met my two children? They can find me hiding in the wardrobe as I try to scoff a chocolate biscuit in peace.

• Past contestants have said that taking part in the programme turned them into a “paranoid savage”. Welcome to parenting. That Health Visitor, teacher, midwife, elderly lady in the shop. They had better watch out, you will turn on them if they dare criticise your parenting skills! Do not talk to me about breastfeeding after a night of no sleep!

• Begging strangers. Sometimes in The Hunted the contestants have to rely on the help of strangers to survive. The same can be said of parenting. When you are desperate for a good night’s sleep we will turn to those online parenting forums, you know the ones where penis beakers are discussed at length, aka Mumsnet.

• The key to a good day of parenting is constantly staying on the move. The same can be said for The Hunted. If you stay still too long then your child/investigator will sniff you out and destroy you! Keep moving!

• You rely on the kindness of strangers. In The Hunted it is giving you a lift in a car to your next destination. In parenting it is when a stranger sees you dealing with a temper tantrum and they tell you that they have all been there;  that it does get easier. On both counts you want to hug them.

• When it is quiet you have a sense of impending doom. In parenting you are waiting for the kids to kick off; in The Hunted you are waiting for those investigators to sweep in.

• The Hunted sees contestants getting twitchy and moody; much like me after a night of no sleep thanks to little ones.

• The Hunted sees contestants not realising how hard it will be physically and emotionally. Same for parenting. That first week after giving birth – HELLO!

• The Hunted requires you to be wiley and secretive. Parenting uses the same skills. My kids do not know about my secret sweet supply.

• The Hunted requires you to vanish. Being a stay-at-home mum means that it often feels like you have vanished from society.

• The Hunted has automatic plate recognition. Stay-at-home mums have similar automatic recognition. Nest for hair, bags under eyes, yoghurt handprints on trousers, hello fellow mummy.

• The Hunted is unpredictable and so is parenting.

The Hunted might be like parenting but is it wrong that I am actually considering going on The Hunted for a holiday?

What do you think? Is The Hunted like parenting?

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