*Disclaimer – please note that this was written before Trump’s latest actions, this was written before he made that order. In light of that I can no longer try to be optimistic. I am now raging again. However, if you would like to read why I tried to be optimistic then please carry on*
As a woman I have made my feelings about Trump clear. I hoped against hope that he wouldn’t do it. He did. We underestimated the angry white man (and some women too*). We forgot that money buys you power.
As a mother I now have to come to terms with this. I have had to reconcile my feelings for Trump, I have had to put them to one side, and I now have to be hopeful that Trump will prove us wrong. As a mother, I am a Trump optimist.
If Oldest came home from school and told me about a fellow pupil with Trump like qualities: he has to always win, detests being told what to do, likes to show off, doesn’t want to share, and can be mean, then I would tell her to kill him with kindness. As a mother I would tell her to show him compassion. I would tell her to try and understand what the cause of his actions are. I would point out his home life and remind her how he isn’t shown love at home. How his Father is a cold man. A man who is teaching his child that if you lose then you are nothing. I would point out that the little boy is just trying to win his dad’s approval. He is doing what he thinks is required, what is expected of him. He just wants to make his dad proud. I would remind Oldest how lucky she is to come from a home where she is loved. He isn’t loved and he knows it.
I suspect that this is the case for adult Trump. It is his cold childhood that is driving him forward. He is trying to prove that he is good enough because his dad always made him feel like he never was. I’ve taught children that have come from similar backgrounds and they can be defiant and angry, but underneath they just want love and acceptance.
The problem is that Trump has become such a caricature that we are very quick to hate and judge. Even before he opens his mouth we are judging him on his actions: how he didn’t wait for his wife, how his skin is too orange, how his hair is so yellow. Because of his past words and actions we have forgotten that this man, who we are quick to portray as a buffoon, has feelings and he is human. Therefore, as a mother I have to believe that this means that he can change, that he can learn and that he will listen.
We made our feelings known. We didn’t want Trump running America. Yet he still managed it. We now have to accept that. We can still show that we don’t agree. We should march and we should sign petitions but we should also listen to him, we should try to understand him because as I say to my daughter “two wrongs don’t make a right”. We might not agree with the way he conducts himself but we don’t have to stoop to his level, we can make our arguments based on fact and reason. We don’t need to resort to prejudice and we don’t need to bully Trump’s son.
We have to become Trump’s role-models. We have to show him a world filled with love not hate.
*Trump got 42% of the female vote*