
A recent weekend away with friends has made me realise how much my life has changed post-children. More specifically how getting ready for a night out has changed post-children. This is how the next 15 hours in Manchester transpired and how it is all very different post-children.
- Pre-children you would spend the afternoon snoozing in preparation for the night-time shenanigans. Post-children means that on a weekend away, without children, you need to cram in as much adult stuff as possible. This means you frequenting strictly adult places like bars – all of the bars.
- Pre-children, after your nap, you might arrange to meet your friends for a few cheeky beverages, pre-night time fun. Post-children you are sat in the bar without your children having a minor freak out when someone suggests you have a porn star. What kind of person do you think I am? I know we haven’t seen each other in a while but that is not my jazz! Oh you mean a cocktail. That sounds lethal. I’m not sure that is sensible. Should we really be drinking this in the afternoon?

I think that you can see the fear in my face!
- Pre-children you neck your shots. Post-children you suspiciously eye up the shot that came with the drink. Finally, you decide to have a sip it, then you realise that it is a waste of your time so you pour your shot into your cocktail. On sipping cocktail you nearly pass out from the strength of it.
- Pre-children you head to the shops to stock-up for the morning after. This involves flat diet coke and all the Monster Munch. Post-children you head to the shop to buy all of the water for the morning after. You are then put out when you realise the shop has no fizzy water! Oh how you have changed.
- Pre-children you would enjoy the getting ready part. You would spend an hour in the bath followed by an hour in the shower so that you can exfoliate, shave etc. Post-children you grab a shower. You don’t have a bath for fear of falling asleep in the bath. In the shower you battle the urge to have a nap standing up.
- Pre-children you would put the music on very, very loud and generally jump around while getting ready. Post-children you get ready with some music on very, very softly in the background, you don’t jump anywhere, you amble.


- Pre-children you would spend hours drying your hair, followed by straightening. Post-children you stick your head upside down under the hairdryer and hope for the best.
- Pre-children you would try on a million outfits. Post-children you try on your only going-out outfit. Your outfit covers everything and that means you don’t need to shave your legs or worry about wearing spanx. It is also very, very comfortable. Win!
- Pre-children you strut about in your highest heels and you don’t feel the pain. Post-children you put on your highest heels and immediately feel the pain. You look wistfully at the hotel slippers.
- Pre-children you would avoid all garlic in case you get lucky. Post-children getting lucky is not something you have to worry about. In fact, you eat all the garlic to deter any potential “luckies” coming at you.
- Pre-children you would be downing more shots and cocktails ending with “bomb” or “carnage”. Post-children you sip on white wine spritzers whilst continually hydrating.
- Pre-children you could drink the men under the table. Post-children you can feel your hangover kicking in after two glasses of wine.
- Pre-children you would jump on the tables and dance the night away. Post-children you still jump on the tables and dance, but now you remove your high-heels for fear of damaging the table. You then try to explain this to the bouncer when he tells you to put them back on. You also explain it is very much against health and safety legislation and you get annoyed when he doesn’t listen to your very reasonable explanation.
- Pre-children you might spend the evening flirting with some hotties (if pre-Mr C). Post-children you spend all the time in awe of the drag queens. You really want to be able to put make-up on like them and be able to wear outfits like them.
- Pre-children you would stay-up until at least 3am. Post-children you can’t even remember what midnight looks like. You are also worried about what your face will look like if you stay up that long. My face moves south as the day goes on!
- Pre-children you are still dancing away at midnight and feeling great. Post-children and the midnight welcomes your hangover and tiredness. You stumble back to the hotel/home feeling sick and muttering under your breath about being old.
- Pre-children after a night out you would eat a kebab. You would then down milk as you read that it stops a hangover. Post-children you don’t want any food, you just want all of the water.
- Pre-children you would collapse into bed and immediately fall asleep with make-up and clothes on. Post-children you carefully remove all clothes and make-up. You then have a lovely cup of tea while watching T.V
- Pre-children you would sleep all morning and sleep the hangover off. Post-children you wake up at the crack of dawn. Either because the kids have woken you up or just because your body clock now runs on kid time. Gaaaaaah. However, this now means that you now get to make the most of the hotel breakfast. That would not have happened pre-children!
How have your nights out changed post-children?
I’m not a party person and sadly don’t have any friends in Denmark to go out with, but I have been out for meals and to the cinema with the partner. Before having a baby, I went out and didn’t have to worry about anything. Now when I go out I’m constantly wondering if A is okay with her babysitter. I feel a little bad for leaving her too. Having children definitely changes a night out.
Aww, it does get easier and you do worry a bit less.
So much to love about this post, Emma – the porn star, the hotel slippers, the fizzy water, the removing your heels, your trying to have an adult conversation with the bouncer about it – you’re so very lovely and so very funny. Glad you had fun!
Awww thanks for your lovely comment. That bouncer really wouldn’t listen to me though. I was trying to explain all about Health and Safety regs 😉
My nights out are definitely few and far in-between now that I’m a mum – and they’re much shorter and tamer. I might go to the pub for two or (gasp!) three beers, or to a friend’s place for wine and cheese. In truth, I’m just excited to be out after 7pm.
And I’m so with you on the fizzy water.
Haha – love the fizzy water!
I didn’t even do these things pre-children!!! Very funny, though. Love the photos!
I refuse to believe that you did not do these pre-children!
Sounds like you had a fab time! I think the main difference between pre and post children outings is that you value them more. (I never got that many!)
Very true!
Hahahaha….I think I only have the one good “going out” outfit post children too! You’re so funny – in awe of drag queens! Yep, I know that awe.
I loved the drag queens and I want their legs!
back from #FridayFrolics lovely- still loving all the energy of this post xx
I think I’ve only had 1 hangover since becoming a Mum and it was the WORST! I was always lazy when hungover so having to look after a small demanding person near killed me. I don’t drink much these days possibly because of it. I love the drag queen, she looks fab!! #fridayfrolics
Oh it is impossible to look after children with a hangover!
lol I love this post. So many funny and true bits of getting out as a parent. Awesome. Glad you had a great night. #FridayFrolics x
Thanks. It was fab!
Nowadays I get together once a week for a drink in the pub with some girlfriends, we talk about books and writing and we just have coffee because we are all driving. Oh dear!!! #FridayFrolics
Oh noooo, you need to put that right!
Why do drag queens always have better legs than most women? Loved this Emma. #FridayFrolics
They had the most amazing legs, and their cheekbones! I’m told it was clever contouring. I don’t even know about contours outside my secondary geography lessons!
The biggest problem is the morning after. Even being out of town and up all night, I still wake up early in the morning thinking that somebody is going to be needing something any second. Hard to tear up the town when I’m yawning every few minutes come 10:00 #fridayfrolics
Very true. Give me an early night!
One of my faves is getting ready (very quickly) with a whiny tweenager trailing behind bemoaning the awfulness of being left with a babysitter (ours is a lovely and a very fun 17 year old young lady). Love the guilt trips as I hurriedly apply make up or the tears when I put on my heels (kitten -the 6 inches are long since sidelined). You’re so right about taking hangover precautions before going to bed, I’ve even been know to have a diarolyte and a herbal tea!! (so wrong and yet so post children!) Funny post #fridayfrolics
Oh wow! I will have to try that one!
Oh I am so jel. We had one of these weekends when I was 9 weeks preggers with NC and I could NOT enjoy the food or the wine or the fizz or even the bloody hot bits in the spa we were at (we went to Bath). But it was amazing just being with my friends and NO CHILDREN for that length of time. Looks like you had an epic weekend – love, love, love the pictures! Thanks for hosting #FridayFrolics
haha, it was epic!
so funny and sooooooo true. They change us completely and CLEARLY there is no going back…even when we try!
#fridayfrolic
Let me go back! I’m joking, I would hate to go back really!
Totally hilarious! I did my first “girls night away” a few months ago and even the queueing system to get into the attempt at a club was a bit top complicated for me? Our night also ended with a nice cup of tea whilst removing our make up. How very civilised haha. Brilliant post and so fun to read. Thanks for hosting #FridayFrolics xx
Oh, having to line-up to get into a club, then whether you are let in depends on the whim of the bouncer. I don’t miss those days!
Ha! Back again to remind myself of what I missed even before I had kids!! At least you actually managed a night out 😉 Thanks for linking up with #kcacols
Haha, so many true points here, especially the high heels one. I can’t remember when was the last time I actually wore mine…. Party you say? I don’t know what they are anymore. Seriously even when I just get out for dinner with the other half, we are home before 10pm because we are so tired! LOL #KCACOLS
My face falls off after 10pm!
I can count the number of nights out I’ve had since becoming a mum on one hand probably but they’ve been very different to before. Before Clem a night out involved staying up all night, dancing, drinking, singing. Now I hardly drink and I’m usually ready for bed by 10pm. x #kcacols
I think it makes us value what we have at home though! I always think I want to go out and then I get out and I want to be home again! I can’t win!
Basically, it’s not really worth going out post-children as it will take days if not weeks to recover anyway… #KCACOLS
not weeks, months! 😉
Yes to all of these! I so can’t back it like I used to. The 6am wake up call the next day never helps though 😉 Fab post. #FridayFrolics
ugh – that wake-up call is torture!
I just rarely get any! Which reminds me I really do need to book my Blogfest ticket! Hurrah! #KCACOLS
Book your ticket!
I’ve not even thought about venturing out post-child, just the thought of it makes me feel a bit ill, knowing how I feel the day after!!! #KCACOLS
haha, we have to do it every now and again though!
This is an awesome and sadly, oh too true post! I used to love going out but now it is just hard work sometimes. Although when I am out I absolutely love it! Gone are the days when I could down any kind if shot, I am much more of a cocktail / prosecco girl now, and probably only a couple before, as you said, I feel the hangover kick in! Sad times! Stil, it’s so important to go out and let our hair down, looked like you had an awesome night out! Love drag queens, their legs are amazing! #fridayfrolics
I want their legs!
Haha very entertaining post! I was never a party person so my pre and post children nights are somewhat similar!
But I am jealous of you getting to see the drag queens do their thing. It looks like such good fun! #KCACOLS
It was fab!
So true! I went out on Saturday night and was home for 11:30pm haha! x #KCACOLS
haha, very sensible!
Ahh that’s lovely. If I’m honest, I don’t really miss it either!
My nights out have changed A LOT ! But I don’t miss it and if I get an ‘out out’ invite anymore I immediately am thinking of ways to cushion the blow. I love that you have *the* going out outfit too! I’m struggling to even find a decent bra that is underwired to go out these days! Drag queen looks fab. I’m the same I think to myself, this man has used make up so well he looks like a woman I’m over here struggling to blend in my eyebrows. #KCACOLS
Argh that is very true regarding bras. I now rank my bras according to comfort factor! And yes to bleding in eyebrows. How do we do that?
Love this! Your face in that photo of you and the porn star! haha.
Oh I do LOVE a night out… to be honest I have now perfected the art of feeding and bathing the kids, WHILST getting ready!
I relish evenings spent with my friends, full of prosecco and very questionable dance moves.
The thing i hate HATE now is the post-kid hangovers. It’s a mixture of wanting sleep for 24 hours AND MumaGuilts. its horrid!! It doesn’t happen very often though, and its so good for the soul!
Big Love, L
xx
#fridayfolics
Oh the mum guilts are the worse!! The hangover always makes them reaaaaally bad too!
Haha this post is awesome, how did I miss this? I LOVE a pornstar martini and also all the fizzy water please. With slippers. Ah things have changed so much and nights out now and such a big event I can go a little nuts with the excitement. I love your pics too, perfect for the post 🙂 xx #KCACOLS
Honestly I’ve not really had many nights out since I’ve had my children, I can’t bear the thought of being hungover and having to look after them the next day! Although I did go out on a school night recently to see ‘Bad Moms’ and had a great time! x #KCACOLS
Haha! I don’t know about any of this as I have not been out since having children! That is clearly my change – post children I no longer go out! 😀 #FridayFrolics