I’m struggling. In my head I have grand ideas about transforming our new house into a sophisticated haven, a house that looks like it is straight from the front page of Good Homes. I spend far too long lusting over the interior blogs on Hibs 100, oohing and ahhhing and getting excited for the latest project that we are about to embark on, thinking how we can transform the kitchen, hallway and guest bedroom.

The reality is that as soon as I have transformed one space, made it look just perfect then it is destroyed by youngest and oldest. Take our living and dining room that we have just finished decorating. I am spending my days constantly wiping hand marks of our feature wall and hiding the crayons so little hands can’t use them to do a Pablo Picasso on my walls.

This week youngest has broken no less than 3 of my ornaments. This all happened whilst I was taking the briefest of trips to the toilet. I should have realised that something was amiss as usually youngest insists on being my audience for any toilet trips whilst giving me a running commentary of what I am doing, “oh what a big wee wee that was Mummy”. I shouldn’t have been relishing the peace and quiet whilst feeling just the teeniest bit smug. No, because youngest had decided that my candle holders would make perfect practise for improving her ball skills. She lined them up on our dining room table and aimed her ball at them and as it happens she has fantastic aiming skills!

One of my cushions has also been destroyed after one too many games of cushion jenga followed by now I crash them down with my body by launching from the sofa onto the top of them. Right now I am sat in what can only be described as the aftermath of a lego tsunami. Before I finish writing this blog post I will no doubt start cleaning it up only for the same thing to happen again and again. I am not very good with a messy house, I want that perfect house but perhaps I need to relax a bit more. I need to embrace the messiness.

So I have come to the conclusion that I whilst I might dream of the picture perfect home I am going to have to realise that the reality might be a little less than perfect in our crazy, loud home.

But for me interior design is also my chance to escape from my Mummy duties. Also i’m not really known for taking the easy route so I will continue on my mission to transform our home just as I am sure youngest and oldest will continue on their mission to destroy it!

I am looking for new interior design blogs to read to would love to hear what blogs you recommend.

I have two beautiful daughters who have long blond hair. As a result of this they are labelled, frequently. They are called ‘Princess’ all the time. Especially youngest who is probably called princess at least ten times a week. Granted this might be because sometimes she chooses to wear a pink princess dress but she certainly doesn’t do this because she wants to be a princess, she just likes dressing up. She also likes to dress up as a pirate too but she doesn’t get called pirate.

I guess for me I see the term princess as offensive and sexist because really what is a princess? If we look beyond the lovely clothes, the tiaras what is there actually there? Nothing. In my eyes the term princess represents inequality, it is a reminder of the very patriarchal society that we still live in. My daughters at the very tender ages of three and six are already defined by their genders. By being a princess they are expected to be passive and look pretty.

Yes, my two might be pretty but I can proudly say that they are not passive.

In fact oldest was asked in a shop once, ” what do you want to be when you are older? A Princess?” She replied with an outraged “No, I do not, I want to be a wolf” at which point she then started to howl for good measure. Youngest whilst at her music class, wearing a tiara was instructed to fly like a “fairy” while the boys were flying like Spiderman or Batman. Youngest not happy at the suggestion shouted “no, I’m going to fly like Batman” and so we had a tiara wearing Batman happily flying at speed round the room. We were once in a shoe shop and youngest had chosen a lovely pair of blue shoes with planes on them. I was aghast when the shop assistant told her that she couldn’t have them because they were boy’s shoes. If that is what youngest wants to wear then that is what she shall wear but the damage was done. Oldest on hearing that backed the shop assistant up by saying “yes, you should be trying on these pretty pink trainers”. Oldest was now gender stereotyping too. I worry about my two daughters becoming brainwashed by societies norms. Labels are very damaging and we need to think carefully about the words we use when around impressionable young minds.

I realise that I am the one with the issue with the term princess. That when my daughters are called princess it is because that person sees it as a positive term of endearment. They say it because they are pretty. But actually I don’t want my girls to grow up in a world where they are purely judged on their looks. I want them to grow up in a world where they can believe that they can achieve anything. A princess as a role model doesn’t inspire that belief. Look at Kate Middleton. Ok, technically I realise that she is a Duchess but we and the rest of the world regard her as Princess. She has done so much good work but when does she make the headlines? When she has changed her hairstyle. Her cutting a few inches of her hair is considered more newsworthy than any of the actual work she does. The impression we get from the press is that her function in life is to look pretty and to produce babies.

My girls will be growing up in a society where there are still gender stereotypes deeply embedded so I don’t want to add to that by labelling them Princess. So whilst I am happy for them to play dress up in princess clothes I won’t be buying them clothes with the label princess on. I want them to break free from labels, I won’t be putting them in a box. I want them to believe that they can achieve anything they put their minds to. I instill in my daughters the belief that they can be independent and that they can be a leader. As a result my oldest daughter is happy to play dinosaurs as well as playing babies. She is happy to play with the girls as well as the boys. Where as youngest likes to dress up as a princess as well as Spiderman, she loves her cars but also her teddies and she is happy to play tea parties but also likes leaping off the settee whilst karate chopping everything in sight. I want my daughters to live their lives free from gender based prejudices. I want them to grow up in a society where they are viewed as an equal.

I want them to realise that they hold the key to their future and that they should be fearless in their pursuit of it.

 

 

Exercising is my me time and since I have stopped exercising over the past month I have noticed a real difference, not only in my slowly expanding waistband but also in my general wellbeing. This has got me thinking about all of the different reasons for exercising;

• It increases our ability to relax. If you are like me then you will find it hard to switch off and sit still. Working out can help with this. It also helps with us getting a better nights sleep.
• It makes you more productive. If I am struggling to meet a writing deadline then I get outside and I walk. Sometimes getting outside in some fresh air is all I need and I come back to my desk feeling more energised.
• When I’m not exercising I find that my anxiety levels increase and this isn’t a coincidence. Studies have shown that exercise really does help us feel less anxious.
• It makes us happy! Yes, exercise releases the same chemicals as eating a chocolate bar does but without the calories.
• It makes us less stressed. Yes, next time you have a bad day don’t reach for the wine. Instead you should get those trainers on because exercising can help us reduce our stress levels and also how we react to stress in the future.

Those are just my top 5 but there are many more reasons we should all be exercising. Why do you exercise? Do you find that exercise is good for your mental wellbeing?

I might be a stay at home Mum who works from home but there are still occasions where I have to attend interviews. Finding the right interview outfit is crucial. As a Mum I like to choose an outfit that I can use again for other situations. However, I still need to choose an outfit that gives a good impression. Here are my tips for choosing an interview outfit;

• Avoid bright colours if you are feeling nervous. It is always best to play safe and wear dark colours that also give a more professional feel. A bright colour could prove distracting.
• Before your interview day have a trial run. This sounds obvious but it is something we often forget. I recently had an interview for some work and when I put my outfit on in the morning I realised that the shirt was a little sheer. Cue much panic as I tried to locate a slip to wear underneath it. If I had followed my own advice I would have had a stress free morning before my interview.
• Check that your clothes feel comfortable and don’t look too tight.
• If you wear jewellery make sure that it is discrete and doesn’t detract from the overall outfit.
• If you are wearing new shoes make sure that you have broken them in. You don’t want to be hobbling into your interview!

I have put together three interview outfits that will have you feeling confident in any job interview and that you will be able to wear again.

Marks and Spencers

1) Knot front Midi Skirt £33 2) Faux Leather Mock Crocodile Skin Boxy Shoulder Bag £39.50 3) Triple Strap Court Shoes £29.50 4) Silver plated ball stud earring set £8.00 5) Flap front checked shirt £29.50

This outfit is elegant and practical. The skirt is a flattering length and comfortable to wear. It could also be dressed down for the school run with a polo neck and a pair of ankle boots, with thick tights. The handbag could be used to dress up a casual outfit or even be used on a night out. The shirt would also look lovely with a pair of skinny jeans as would the shoes. The shirt and the shoes both work well together to give the outfit some personality whilst not being overpowering.

Boden

1) Fearne Slouch bag £139 2) The City Shirt £49.50 3) Chelsea Trouser £59.50 4. Vienne Mid Heel £99.50

The bag might be a little on the pricey side but it will become your go to bag. It can be used with any outfit and is perfect for busy Mums who have to carry with them a multitude of objects. Would make a great weekend bag with jeans, it would also fit in your gym outfit or even nappies. A white shirt is a staple for any wardrobe and this one has a fitted shape that allows it be dressed up or it would look equally fantastic on the school run. Put it with a pair of jeans for a more dressed down but still very chic look. The trousers are a must. They can be dressed up for an evening out yet they are so comfortable they can be worn during the day with a bright jumper. Very flattering look for the school run.

Ted Baker

1) Neoprene Ottoman Dress £149 2) Large Bow Jelly Pumps £50 3) Neoprene Suit Jacket £159 4) Eyeliner Striped leather cross bag £229

Yes this is a pricey little interview outfit but it is worth it. Firstly the dress. Every wardrobe needs a staple black dress and this should be it. Perfectly fitted it can be dressed up with heels for a night out. You could also wear a polo neck or white shirt underneath it. The shoes are undeniably cute and quite a good price too. This could be added to a 50s style outfit, think flared dress or swinging skirt. The shoes would also look adorable with a pair of skinny jeans. The jacket could be used for a nice weekend outfit if you were wanting a smart casual look. Pair it with a pair of black jeans and a white t-shirt or even skinny black trousers.

Remember that in an interview it takes 2.2 seconds for the interviewer to make up their mind about what they think of you. First impressions really do count. Choose your outfit and go get them!

Yesterday it came out in the press that a Headteacher had written to parents asking them to stop wearing pyjamas on the school run. If i’m honest my first reaction was to be a bit jealous. They have Mums that wear pjs on the school run?! Oh how glorious that must be. You see my school run is very different. At our school it seems like all of the other Mums are yummy Mummies and they all rock up looking wonderfully immaculate whilst wearing their beautifully ironed clothes and they are wearing actual make-up (not last nights). I on the other hand rock up with a birds nest for hair and mostly sometimes yoghurt stained tops and my mascara might be smudged. This is not because I didn’t take it off properly the night before. Absolutely not *cough*. By the way am I the only one who removes her mascara the night before but then finds that some has magically reappeared under her eyes the next morning? Yes, I’m more your slummy Mummy. The shame.

So I would quite like it if other parents wore pjs if only to make me feel less slovenly! However, I can also see the Headteachers point too. It is about the negative associations with wearing what should be your bed wear out of the house, it doesn’t create the best impression. Don’t get me wrong I love a good pj day but I would never wear my pjs out of the house.

But then again should this not be our choice to make? As adults should we not be free to decide what we want to wear on the school run? What I don’t like about the letter is that apparently it calls it a

“pretty poor indictment of the parenting skills of some of our families”

Now that I have an issue with. I don’t agree with the sweeping inference that is being made here. Does wearing pjs really make you a bad parent. Does the clothes we wear really reflect how good we are as a parent?

I mean if I wore a tracksuit does this make me a Mum that isn’t as good as the Mum who is wearing a suit? What do jeans say about me? I live in jeans.

Oh no now I feel like I have stumbled into a whole minefield. As well as getting my children ready for school, feeding them, washing them, brushing their teeth, making the packed lunch I now need to think about what I wear because it clearly is telling the whole world what I am like as a parent. So perhaps I need to go and invest in a variety of suits for the school run, so that I can create an impression of being a very busy and important person and therefore fantastic parent. Perhaps power dressing is the way forward for school runs.

Also will I be judged for what my toddler wears? This morning it was a princess dress over her jeans and top and finished with wellies. What does this say about me as a parent?

I do agree with the Headteacher to a certain degree but I do think that how she handled it could have been better. Perhaps a quiet word with some of the parents asking them if they would mind not wearing their pjs on the school run but I don’t think it was her place to tell them. The Headteacher is there to run the school and to ensure that the children are getting a good education so i’m not sure how a fews pjs on the school run impacts on this. But like or not we are judged on our appearances and perhaps this is something I need to remember more too.

But the Headteacher might want to realise that a lot of fashion can look like Pjs. In fact the spring fashion look is exactly that. Slinky nightdresses might start occurring on the school run. Now I would like to see what the Headteacher says then!

One of the spaces we are thinking about decorating next is our hallway. At the moment it is the ultimate blank canvas. All we have done is hung a mirror which we did in a bid to make the area feel lighter and bigger. We have also hung one picture. We are not quite sure what we should be doing with the space and therefore I have been collecting ideas over on my pinterest board.

A hallway should also be welcoming as it is the first space that your visitors see and therefore we want it to have an impact for all the right reasons. It is quite dark in our hallway and as a result I tried to introduce some greenery when we first moved in. I had visions of the below;

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I love how all of the different plants work well together and add personality to the hallway. The use of plants would breathe life into our hallway.

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Again a mixture of plants is used to create texture and interest. I also love the simple table they are on and the mixture of different vases and plant pots really adds to the pleasing aesthetics.

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I love the minimal feel of the seat that they are all sat on and the use of height in the plants draws your eyes above to the wall and the gorgeous green colour of the walls. The overall effect is one very cool and tranquil hallway.

This is what I was hoping to create with Edward (oldest decided the plant needed a name) but he didn’t like it in the hallway and started to fade. As a result he has been moved to our top floor where he is convelecing nicely. As I can’t add real greenery I like the idea of introducing the colour green and this is a colour that is going to be very much on trend this year.

I could also introduce some greenery with my choice of pictures and furniture.

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I love what they have done above and it gives the sense of having lots of greenery through the clever use of pictures. However, we do have a lot of wall space so it would be nice to use this to create a gallery.

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I love how this hallway has used personal pictures on their wall. This is a really lovely idea to put up some of our treasured memories on our wall for others to share. It also gives a real sense of the family that live in the house. Also the fact that the top of the pictures are all in line and that they have used the same sort of frame creates a nice sense of unity. Perhaps we could create a gallery wall with of our children’s drawings.

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I like this gallery because they have gone all the way from the top of the wall to the bottom. It also creates interest by using frames that are not identical but the use of the same coloured frames links them. They have created the effect of the hanging seeming more random which gives it a less formal and more welcoming feel. I am not sure this would work in our hallway as it may just make it seem more cluttered.

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I love this for the minimal feel. The leaving of space between the pictures works really well. I also love how they have then contrasted this with the cushions and throw on the bench which gives it a more comfy feel. The light is also gorgeous!

We are also toying with the idea of using the hallway as a way of storing my books.

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I love this and how it goes from the ceiling to the floor. It adds real interest with the style of the shelves and the colour works really well making the shelves themselves a feature. I do worry that because our hallway is quite narrow that it might overpower it.

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This works really well as it has a more minimal feel. Again the shapes add real interest as does the contrasting colours.

Using wallpaper is another way of adding personality to a space and can create a real wow factor.

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This foliage wallpaper is light and bright and is a clever way of bringing some greenery indoors.

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I love the detail in this one and all of the different colours of the butterflies. However I don’t like the big butterfly as I feel that it would be too overpowering in our hallway.

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This wallpaper has a real cute and quirky feel. It would make for a cheery entrance hall.

We still have lots more thinking to do but I think that we are clear on the following;

• we want it to have some greenery somewhere, whether it be the paint colour or in our choice of pictures or wallpaper
• It needs to practical and low maintenance
• It needs to reflect our family somehow

What do you think of our ideas so far? Do you have any ideas? If you are looking for some hallway inspiration then be sure to check out my pinterest board. Also if you have any cool hallway ideas then I would love to see them.

During the dark winter months hot chocolate is a must in our house. It is oldest’s choice of drink for when she gets home from school. There is just something deeply satisfying about a mug of hot chocolate. All of last week I was craving a “proper” cup of chocolate but found myself resisting the urge, reminding myself that I was trying to be healthy.

But after yet another cold and drizzly school run I had an epiphany. I should be embracing a cup of real hot chocolate because it has many health benefits. To name a few reasons;

• the chemical compounds in chocolate trigger the brain to release endorphins,
• chocolate can be good for the heart.
• chocolate contains many minerals
• it is a natural energy source.

Therefore we can now make a cup of pure indulgence safe in the knowledge that we are actually being quite virtuous. In fact Thomas Jefferson once wrote,

“The superiority of (chocolate) both for health and nourishment will soon give it the same preference over Tea and Coffee in America which it has in Spain”

With a nod to Spanish Hot Chocolate here is my perfect hot chocolate. Remember the chocolate is the star of the show so don’t cut corners here, get the nicest chocolate that you can afford. We are very lucky where we live as on the island we have some fantastic local produce. I have also included milk chocolate in my recipe.

Some might see this as sacrilege believing that hot chocolate should just be dark chocolate. Personally, I find this makes the hot chocolate too bitter and as a result requires a mountain of sugar to make it palatable. Not great for little ones. This recipe should suit everyone in the family.

Hot Chocolate or Hug in a Mug (serves 2)

• 450ml Full fat Milk (trust me here and tell yourself it is good for calcium)
• 70g of 70% coco chocolate. Chopped or finely grated.
• 30g Milk Chocolate
• 75ml Single Cream
• Pinch of sea salt
• Marshmallows (optional)
• Brandy for the adult version (optional)

Firstly warm up 150 ml of your milk in a small pan. Be patient here, don’t be tempted to turn the heat up too high. A medium heat should suffice. Once the milk is warm add your grated chocolate, continuing to stir.

Once the chocolate has melted whisk in your remaining milk and cream. Then add a pinch of salt and taste, adding more salt if you feel it is needed. If it is an adult version you could also add a little brandy to taste.

To finish I like to use my mini electric whisk to give it a lovely frothy top, I then sprinkle some marshmallows on top.

“mmmmmmmm….chocolate”

Homer Simpson

Enjoy but like the best things in life it is based consumed in moderation as too many may increase our waistline.

I never thought that I would be a stay at home Mum. I was ambitious and progressing quickly in my career. I was successful. People looked up to me and sought out my opinion.

Now it often feels like no one sees me

but please don’t think that this is me looking for pity. I accept that this is a choice that I made and that if I really wanted to I could probably make myself seen again. But for now I am happy to be invisible.

Being a stay at home Mum is still one that divides the playground and our society. For my generation being a stay at home Mum means that you often feel like you are letting down all the hard-working Mums with jobs. The woman I was before I had our second child. It is a decision that I am judged upon constantly. It is one that makes me want to lie when it comes to filling in the occupation box in legal documents.

But i’m not a prisoner.

I made this choice, willingly. It’s a decision that has caused me to feel isolated and cut off from friends. Friends who don’t understand how I was able to walk away from a flourishing career. Friends who don’t understand how I fill my days. Friends who don’t understand me anymore. I have made a lot of sacrifices for my family but still these are sacrifices that I am very fortunate to be able to make.

This new world that I now live in is exciting, liberating, challenging but also suffocating. Sometimes playing the same game for the 20th time makes my brain want to explode. But this was a choice that I made and I wouldn’t have it any other way but it is also a decision that makes me feel defensive. So why do I put myself through this? Why have I walked away from my career, losing some of my oldest friends in the process and also losing a part of me? Because it was the right decision to make. I will happily continue to battle the banality of everyday, negotiate the tiresome playground politics and continue the never ending cycle of cleaning away the mess.

I will do this everyday because it means that I am here for my children.

Since I gave up work my older child has flourished and that makes every little sacrifice worth it. Now she is secure and confident. Now I take her to school and pick her up from school, now she has me at home to talk to her about her day and to help her with her homework. I’m no longer dashing off because I have work to do or asking her to hold that story until later. Now I’m there for her.

With my youngest I have been there for every first. I am the one she asks her big unanswerable questions to, I am the one she carries her book to asking me to read it and I am the one she calls for when she wakes up in the night. I know from experience that if I was still working long hours it wouldn’t be me that she calls for.

So whilst today I might be missing my old life and feeling alone I need to take a moment. I need to remind myself how lucky and loved I am because at home the two most important people have me at the centre of their world and that is just where I want to be.