The same thought keeps running (not walking) through my mind “am I mad?” Quite possibly, yes. Last year I pledged to complete the Moonwalk marathon. Now I have gone and added to that because just over a month after the Moonwalk I will be attempting the Island walk – all 48 miles of it.
I am doing it because I can. I am doing it because I have the luxury of choice.
I’m doing it because I need to stop wallowing. I am doing it because I need to do something positive. I am walking for the people that can’t. The people that cruelly had their lives cut short. For the friends I have lost. I need to do it because I can.
I probably won’t enjoy it. I am not naturally athletic and I will probably curse myself for ever thinking that it was a good idea. However, I need something to focus on. I will be doing the 48 mile walk with Mr C. He will be my training buddy and walking partner. We will walk the 48 miles together. The only small (or large) issue is our height difference. He is a strapping 6ft4 (nearly 6ft5 he assures me) with a stride that would give any giant a run for its money. I am an average 5ft6 with a rather small stride. I will probably have to jog to keep up with him on the walk, and jog I will, because there will be no way that I want to let him cross that finish line before me. Competitive, me? Never.
I will probably swear quite a lot between now and then but I am doing it because I can. I need to challenge myself and this will do that! I don’t know what to expect, I don’t know if I will be able to complete them both but I have to try. I want to push myself, I want to see what I am capable of. I am hoping that in the process I will learn about myself. I am hoping that I will learn to actually like me, that I will be able to stop the self-loathing. That’s probably asking for the impossible but I can try. I am fed-up of not liking myself. I want to be a different me. I want to be the best me. I want to make my girls proud, I want to make my husband proud.
It won’t be easy and I will have to battle self-doubt constantly. I will have to learn to ignore the voice that whispers “you can’t do it”. I will have to push forward. I will have to shout “I can do this”. Perhaps I am going through an early mid-life crisis. Maybe this is just another way I have found of punishing myself, because it will be torture. There will be the early mornings when I will have to drag myself out of bed, when my body is screaming for sleep. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t because I am doing an Eddie Izzard and attempting 27 months in 27 days. No, it is because my body will be attempting the equivalent of three marathons in a just over a month. I don’t do exercise like this. I am more like a sloth. My body likes sleep. I am no Maggie Thatcher, I need at least 8 hours sleep. There will be the days that I don’t want to feel the pain of walking another mile, but I will do it, because I can.
I will do it.
Ps – I might not have realised that the walk would be 48 miles. I thought Jersey was the size of a postage stamp. Apparently not. The whole way round is 48 miles. End to end is 9 miles. I wonder if I could suggest the “across Jersey walk”. What do you think? I’m joking, 2017 is going to be known as the year I walked, A LOT! Wish me luck.
Moonwalk Marathon 26.2 miles + The Island Walk 48 miles = am I out of my mind?! Yes, I have started the post questioning my sanity and after writing this post I am still no wiser.
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