We are so British/Jersey (add what ever nationality you are here), we spend the whole time moaning about how cold it is, whilst exclaiming that it never stops raining. Finally, that glorious sun arrives; we stop dead in our tracks and look up staring in awe and asking
“What is this golden globe that floats in the sky?”
This is followed by –
“Ow my eyes, MY EYES. It’s too bright, where are my sunglasses?”
This is then followed by the sinking realisation that you last saw your sunglasses on the one day the sun shone last year. This resulted in much excitement on your part; you dragged the family down to beach, followed by a BBQ and followed by lots and lots of Pimms, because Pimms is the drink you have to drink when it is Summer. You vaguely remember that after consuming one too many Pimms, you ended up in the kids paddling pool trying to reenact the most romantic part of Dirty Dancing. You know, the iconic lift scene, the one where Baby is lifted elegantly out of the water.
However, in your Pimms induced haze it did not occur you to that:
a) Mr C is not Patrick Swayze (sorry Mr C).
b) You are not in a lake but in a paddling pool with about 2 cm of water covering the bottom.
c) You are not Baby, aka, as light as a feather.
Therefore, when you ran towards Mr C screaming
“I’m running, get ready for the lift.”
Mr C panicked at the sight of a baby elephant galloping towards him at breakneck speed and leapt out of the way. This resulted in you smashing your face on the bottom of the paddling pool; breaking your sunglasses. That sun (not the Pimms, never the Pimms) has a lot to answer for. Here are the other 16 signs that Summer has arrived:
- Mr C takes his socks off at every opportunity. I hate feet. This is not acceptable in the house. However, this is acceptable out of the house.
- This brings me to the next sign that tells you it’s summer. Older gentlemen are everywhere wearing socks and sandals. If there is one thing I hate more than bare feet, it’s socks in sandals.
- Your daughters think it is acceptable to eat lollies for breakfast…….and so do you.
- Your daughters think it is acceptable to inhale 12 lollies a day……and so do you.
- You go to B&Q to buy garden furniture. You arrive to find there are no car park spaces free because the whole of Jersey has had the same idea!
- There are a lot of people wandering around looking like lobsters. I, on the otherhand, prefer to model the panda eyes look. Classy!
- The inside of your car resembles a sand dune on wheels.
- The fridges in Waitrose break down because they can’t cope with the heat. True story. Cue a panicked me.
- You start eating salads….out of choice.
- Mr C starts making wild promises about sorting his dad bod out…..still waiting 😉 .
- I start making wild promises about running that marathon…..going to happen, well more of a walk. More on that in a later post.
- I live in maxi dresses otherwise I would have to shave my legs. Mr C is a lucky man.
- I debate shaving my legs and the hair of my head because it is hotter than the sun out there!
- I suddenly develop a taste for lager shandies.
- Your children are grumpy because it “is too hot to sleep at night”.
- All of the adults are happy until they get sunburnt. Then they are grumpy too!
You have to love a bit of summer, don’t you? What signs tell you that it’s Summer?
*I should add another sign that it is summer – as soon as you write a post about how it is summer, it starts pouring down with rain. Sorry about that; I take full responsibility!*