“The holidays are coming, holidays are coming” in the words of that huge multinational brand, Coca Cola, Christmas is nearly here. That time of year where we feel under pressure to pretend that we all have the perfect family life and suddenly think that we can have all of our family, including distant Aunts, Uncles, twice removed cousins, all under one roof and that it will all be jolly. Note to self: it won’t be jolly, especially when you don’t have room to swing a cat. It’s also the time of year when we succumb to the commercial nature of it and forget the true meaning of Christmas. Yes, it’s the time of year when we waste all of our hard earned money on plastic tat for the children. For that tat to be consigned to the bin by Boxing Day because it has already broken. It’s the time of year when we think that we are Mary Berry and that we can cook a billion different Christmas cakes, only for us to have a sherry induced breakdown over them, and we forget about feeding the cake sherry and feed ourselves sherry instead.
You just have to love Christmas don’t you?! There is a reason for January being the time of year when most people choose to get divorced, Christmas. No one wants to be criticised over their Christmas trifle when they have been up since the crack of dawn making their desserts. I am sharing my Christmas hacks for a stress free Christmas which should mean that you don’t have to consult all of the divorce lawyers.
Christmas Hacks For A Stress-Free Christmas
If you can’t face the stress of Christmas, the build-up, the cooking and the entertaining of family, then go away. We did it last year and we will be doing it this year. Some call this hiding, you might even want to use the label bah-humbug. I call it being very sensible. Christmas is fantastic when you aren’t the one doing all of the cooking.
Buy It Ready Made
Go and worship at the M&S altar and stock up on their ready made Christmas selection. Turkey crowns, vegetables peeled and drizzled in some of that fancy maple shizz, and teeny tiny puddings that still contain 1 billion calories, despite their size. Hide the boxes and wow your guests with your cool and calm collected persona on Christmas Day. They will think that you are a culinary genius. Jamie Oliver eat your heart out.
Stock Up On Booze
Ensure that everyone is kept topped up throughout Christmas Day. Get the sherry in for your Nan, also add a bottle into that trifle. It’s called sherry trifle after all. Start everyone on bucks fizz for breakfast and then just keep them topped up for the rest of the day. This way they won’t notice if you burn the Christmas dinner, they won’t care when the Christmas dinner is 3 hours late and they won’t bat an eyelid when you flambé the Christmas Pudding, managing to singe the cat’s tail in the process. Everyone will just have a jolly time and think that you are marvellous.
Wear Christmas Jumpers
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Hello 2017! We are back from our Christmas break, the Christmas jumpers have been packed away and the jeans are feeling a lot tighter. How are you all? I hope that you all had a lovely break with your families and that 2017 is kind to you all xxx . . . #momswithcameras #childofig #pixel_kids #MyHappyCapture #oureverydaymoments #LifeCloseUp #motherlylove #ohmamamoment #dailyparenting #capturingchildhood #letthembelittle #myhappycapture #worldoflittles #rememberingthesedays #TheMagicInEveryday #developinglife #capturemypositive #documentyourdays #unitemotherhood #thismamaloves #mydarlingmemory #lionessmama #2017 #happynewyear2017 #happynewyear #familyphotography #pocruises
Nothing shouts happy families than when you force all of your family to wear matching comedy Christmas jumpers. It shows that you are all one (slightly deranged) unit. You are a family. Paper over those cracks and get those Christmas jumpers on.
Stay Away From Pinterest
We need to accept that we will never have the Pinterest perfect Christmas. We won’t be setting a Christmas welcome table, we will not be able to turn our napkins into Christmas trees and we won’t be serving eggnog to our neighbours. Stay away from Pinterest and keep those expectations low and you are onto a win, win for Christmas Day.
Do you have any Christmas Hacks, ones that are actually serious and might help people ;-)?