I am confused. What does being a feminist actually mean nowadays? One minute I am being told that being a feminist means I should be taking selfies and embracing the way I look. Complete fail there then. The next minute I am being told that a true feminist is still stuck in the 1970s and that I shouldn’t be shaving my armpits. Partial win there but not out of choice more out of time constraints. Before you go eugh, I am talking about a couple of days of stubble. Oh see what I did there? I felt the need to qualify how hairy I was. A definite feminist fail.
When I went to university I believed that I was a feminist because I drank pints and I liked to challenge the boys to drinking contests. Which I won by the way (I’m sure my mum is very proud 😉 ). However, now I realise that this act itself does not make me a feminist. So am I a feminist? Have I ever been a feminist?
What is a feminist?
I feel that feminism has lost its way. We spend so much time debating about what a feminist is that we have lost sight of the important things. A feminist isn’t about the way we look, the photos we take or the clothes we wear. Being a feminist is about what we believe in and the values we hold close to our heart. I am a feminist because I believe in equality. I don’t like writing down that I am a feminist because last time I did that I was trolled. I was trolled for my choice of word. That in itself is proof that feminists still have a cause to fight. Feminism should be about choice and ensuring that woman have that choice. I am a stay-at-home-mum and that is my choice. A choice that I made. A choice that I shouldn’t be criticised for. Yet I still am. Some believe that walking away from my career was a big mistake. Some of you reading my blog might think that too but the point is that it is my mistake to make. I should be celebrated for the choice I have made, not criticised. Just as I would celebrate all the women who choose to work full-time.
We are told that a feminist is Margaret Thatcher for running the country. We are told that a feminist is Carrie Bradshaw from Sex in the City for choosing to nearly bankrupt herself with her shoe habit. Apparently this represented independence, I think it actually says something rather alarming about consumerism but I digress. We are told that Kim Kardashian is a feminist because she gets her boobs out online and apparently that is empowering. But this isn’t feminism. I find it very hard to believe that every time Kim Kardashian takes a photo she is thinking about the feminist statement she is making. The reality is that she is a little bit narcissistic. Note the drop of sarcasm there when I say little. The label feminism has lost its way and it is now down to us reclaim it so here are what I belive the qualities of a feminist to be. Could you be a feminist?
Feminist needed
Desperately seeking feminists to join the cause. We are now a dwindling breed and we require members to join our gang. You don’t need to be cool just be prepared to stand up for what you believe in.
- Gender
Male or female required to fight the cause of feminism. Appearance irrelevant, whether you choose to shave or not doesn’t make a difference and the clothes you wear means nothing too.
- Age
Young or old come and get involved.
- Qualities
You must be prepared to have your voice heard. Not be afraid of trolls. Most importantly you must resist all attempts by the media to caricature feminism. Feminism is not just bra burning, hairy arm pit flashing and boob sharing. Feminism is about choice and supporting one another.
- Pay
Equal of course….in that there is no pay for any of us. Just the smug satisfaction that what we are doing is great for the world and the future of humanity.
Who is with me? Are you a feminist?
It’s your choice of course 😉
What do you believe makes a feminist?
Before I go I am just going to mention that I have been shortlisted for the BiBs under Fresh Voice. I know bonkers but rather terrifically bonkers. I still can’t believe it and I hope it sinks in soon. In the meantime I would love if you would consider voting for me. You can do that by clicking >>>>>>>>>> here<<<<<<<<
Yes, all of this. I’m actually reading “We Were Feminists Once” by Andi Zeisler at the moment and it goes into all of these points - particularly the consumerism one - in great depth; I think you’d enjoy it.
Oh that sounds fab. Thanks for the tip 🙂
I think the ‘having it all’ has gone to far. One person’s ‘having it all’ is completely different to another’s. We shouldn’t judge. We should celebrate choice. Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics
Yep, we should all celebrate that we have choice 🙂 Thanks for your comment x
Love this, I studied a lot about gender and feminism at uni and I’m always reading about it. My favourite definition has to be Caitlin Moran’s from ‘how to be a woman’: “What is feminism? Simply the belief that women should be as free as men, however nuts, dim, deluded, badly dressed, fat, receding, lazy and smug they might be. Are you a feminist? Hahaha. Of course you are.”
The word itself has definitely got negative connotations which is such a load of bollocks. And don’t even get me started on the trolling!!! Fab post. #FridayFrolics
Oh I LOVE that quote!! Genius. Thanks for your lovely comment xx
I’m a feminist because it’s stupid not to be equal. It holds you back. Everyone deserves the same opportunities. Don’t get me started on equal opportunities though, everyone I’ve ever spoken to bar a few gets it completely wrong! 😀 #TheList
Haha! You are right though, stupid not to be equal, simple as!!
I let Caitlin Moran guide me on this one. Anyone who can argue the cause for women so effectively AND make me laugh until my pelvic floors nearly give in has to be an authority on the subject! Ace post, I’m with you. Don’t have the answers but I’m all in for the journey. #Fridayfrolics - so happy to have found your blog.
Yaaay thanks. I completely agree Caitlin Moran is ace! x
I believe in equal opportunities for all regardless of gender, race, age, religion, sexuality etc. Feminist and proud!
Yaaaay! I am with you there x
As a stay at home dad who accidentally fell into the gender rights movement five years ago, I think there has been a shift. In the last Government I had a few dealings with Jo Swinson, the then Equalities Minister and someone 10 years my junior. Her approach was entirely different to a woman of my age or older. Men were not seen as enemies or a problem to be solved. She saw men as partners and a group of people facing their own battles, some of them very significant; high suicide rate (75% of all suicides being men), sliding educational achievement and - even though it is desperately under-reported - increasing issues with body confidence and all the mental health issues it brings. I don’t believe you can be a masculist without being a feminist or vice versa. Unfortunately, I am very reluctant to describe myself as a feminist simply because the word has so many connotations and I do sometimes think the movement is very divided (but at least it exists, the men’s rights movement being very small in comparison!) I like to think the younger generation are on a more equal footing. Women still face discrimination and have many significant issues to address. Men and woman should work together to solve them. Plkease excuse the link drop but here’s a little something I was involved in earlier this year you may find interesting. (or maybe not!!) http://dadbloguk.com/women-of-the-world/ #thelist
Thanks for your comment John. I think Jo Swinson sounds like she has done some fantastic work. The suicidal rate in men is such a shocking statistic and I know more work is being done to offer support etc but there is still so much more that needs to be done. I also think it is a massively under reported and the media needs to be playing a more active part in getting the message out there. I completely agree with you being reluctant to use the term feminist. I think sadly it has been hijacked and therefore lost its true meaning. Like you say men and women need to work together on this, perhaps we should come up with a new term?! Thanks for the link, I really look forward to reading it. Ps congratulations on your shortlist too
Am I a feminist? Hell freaking yeah I am!
To me, feminism means embracing and accepting everyone for exactly who they are. So, with this in mind, I wanted to add to your post that Gender should include Male, Female, Neither and Both, as there are people out there who don’t identify with either gender (or identify as a bit of both) and they need to be included too, cos that’s what feminism is all about!
Oh yes Em, this is superb. I am in the gang and proud! Thanks so much for linking up to #thelist x
Feminism is used like a dirty word, a label that almost pits us as trouble makers. But I agree with you when you say it has lost its way. Kim K posing naked has zero to do with challenging equality or womens rights. As a mother to a little mini me I need to be more conscious about Feminism as I want her to grow up feeling she is equal, is respected and that she can leave her clothes and still be proud of her body image.
Exactly, we need to bring up our children to be proud of themselves and unafraid to use the term feminism