Sound the klaxon people
Dry January is over! I repeat, Dry January is over. Better get down to Aldi quick because I predict a stampede. Those booze aisles aren’t going to stay fully stocked for long. Best stock up.
I originally wrote this post last June. Last June! However, some stuff happened and it didn’t seem right that I was talking about getting a party started. Also, it is quite possibly the worst vlog you will ever watch. I’m talking shaky camera, the film cutting in an out and me talking with a massive ink splodge on the side of my face. Yet I am now revealing this monstrosity to the world. Why? Trump is why. The world feels like it is going kaput. I fear that we are at the start of the Hunger Games trilogy. It’s all going a bit Pete Tong. We need something to laugh at, that something is me. So I am hoping that my awkward and humiliating vlog will give you something to smile about, or you might just think it is trumping terrifying. It’s a fine line between laughter and cringing.
Below is the original post that I wrote back in sunny June. Read it, watch it, crack open the wine! Get the party started.
I keep being told that vlogging is where it is at.
That’s vlogging not blogging. I’ve only just learnt how to properly insert a badge into my blog posts and now I am being told it is all about the vlogs. I can’t keep up. I attempted my first vlog last week. I stress attempted. However, you lovely lot were really kind. Therefore I decided to give it another go. Even though –
- I don’t have youth on my side.
- I am not Alfie Deyes.
- I am not young or good-looking. Alfie Deyes has 5.2 million followers on his YouTube channel. 5.2 million! That probably matches the millions he has in his bank. Alfie is very wealthy thanks to his YouTube channel. However, I am no Alfie Deyes so that isn’t going to work. I then looked to his girlfriend for inspiration, Zoe Sugg or Zoella. She too is very young. She too is a millionaire. Oh to be young and filthy rich. Yes, please!
I have decided that I want to be a world-famous vlogger, well for the purpose of this post I have. I decided to go away and think about my next vlog. I was still thinking 5 days later, I couldn’t come up with any ideas. Then I was set my assignment for this week’s Make Films course. This week we were asked to make a ‘how to’ film. This is when I had my lightbulb moment. Yes, I could make a ‘how to’ film. However, what could I make it on? What can I actually do? Hmmmm. Now I know that arts and crafts vlogs are really big. However, I am allergic to arts and crafts so I had to rule that idea out.
I decided to do some research and much to my amazement I discovered that people will watch any old rubbish. There are all sorts of vlogs on all sorts of obscure ‘how to’ things.
- How to clean an oven.
- How to write a letter.
- How to lick a stamp.
Ok, I might be exaggerating with the last one but you get the idea. You name it and there will be a ‘how to’ film on it. I have decided that I wanted a piece of this ‘how to’ pie. Therefore, I have made my very own obvious ‘how to’ film. This is for you lot. Again I am not wearing enough make-up. Again I look a mess. I also seem to have something stuck on the side of my face. I think it might have been an ink splodge that also matched the one on my hand. I am very tired at the moment. So tired that I lost my lip balm for over a week. Mr C discovered it in the fridge. Yes, really.
This is my how to vlog. I hope that you enjoy.
*Disclaimer – if you know me in real life then please do not watch this. I am embarrassed by it. You will be embarrassed by it.*
Also if anyone from Tanqueray or Fever-Tree is watching this then call me 😉
What do you think? Now you know that for me a party is a gin and tonic. Says a lot about my life nowadays. I even forgot to put in a lime. I know that the camera is a bit wobbly, due to bashing ice-cubes on the table but I like to think it is rustic. Let’s call it rustic instead of flipping awful 😉 Next time I need to make sure that I have nothing stuck to the side of my face, and that I don’t chop the top of my head off.
Now over to you. Do you have any suggestions for my next ‘how to’ vlog?