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Island Living 365

How YOUR birthday is no longer YOUR birthday when you have children

November 3, 2016

a lovely birthday cake and presents

Last weekend I celebrated my birthday. 21 again peeps. I am going to be rocking that age until I am into my 70s. Yes, age is only a number but I have a husband who likes to tease me on a daily basis about the fact that I am very much into my thirties. I refuse to accept it *sobs into tissues*. I do accept it really as my twenties were car crash so I much prefer my thirties. Anyway, I am waffling and believe me there is a point to this post. I have been thinking about how MY birthday is very different now that I have children:

 

  • Pre-children a birthday meant that you had a lovely long lie-in. Post-children your birthday means that you are woken up by two children jumping up and down on your bed screeching “HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY”.

 

  • Pre-children you would have a leisurely soak in the bath before breakfast. Post-children you rush a shower while your children bang on the cubicle demanding that you hurry up as they want to open YOUR presents.

 

  • Pre-children you would have a pile of impractical presents – presents that you requested. Post-children you have a measly pile of very sensible presents. This is your fault as you forgot about your rapidly approaching birthday and besides you now rather like sensible presents.

 

  • Pre-children you would take your time opening your presents, savouring the experience, dragging it out. Post-children you turn round to take a sip of your coffee and turn back to find your children have opened all of your presents.

 

  • Pre-children you would have a leisurely lunch in a swanky wine bar. Post-children you find an establishment for the children. You settle on a pub with soft-play. You then wince at the price of food. As a result, the children eat whilst you share a packet of crisps with Mr C. It’s ok though because you didn’t really fancy any of the beige food on offer.

 

  • Pre-children you would go for a romantic stroll somewhere. Post-children you realise that soft-play has not tired the children out. You then take them to the beach for a mammoth walk. This does not tire them out either and the children declare they are hungry again. You still haven’t eaten since breakfast.

 

  • Pre-children you would go out somewhere flash for dinner. Post-children you let the children choose your birthday tea. This means you end up eating crackers and cheese in front of the T.V.

 

  • Pre-children you might treat yourself to a beautiful chocolate cake. Post-children you have a cake that the children chose. You don’t know whether you should be offended by the fact they have chosen a cake that is a pig.

 

  • Pre-children you would be counting down until you can get your glam clothes on and go out. Post-children you are counting down until your children are in bed and therefore you can get into your PJs.

 

  • Pre-children you would paaaaaaaaarty hard and possibly fall asleep in the nightclub toilets, with a lipstick penis drawn on your forehead (oh, just me then?) Post-children you fall asleep on the sofa and wake-up to find that your kids have covered you in Teletubbies stickers.

 

  • Pre-children you find yourself in the kitchen in the early hours of the morning talking deep and meaningful “stuff” whilst stuffing toast into your mouth. Post-children you find yourself in the kitchen in the early hours of the morning with a threenager who wants to talk deep and meaningful “stuff” about Paw Patrol. Such as, why does Skye have no gadgets? Is it because she is female dog? I don’t know Youngest, just let me eat my toast in peace.

 

  • Pre-children you lied about your age and people tactfully pretended to believe that you were 21 again. Post-children and your kids inform you that “you can’t be 21 as you look 70”. Thanks.

 

Can you think of any ways your birthday has changed since having children?

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Filed Under: General, Musings

  1. Justsayingmum says

    November 3, 2016 at 10:00 am

    Oh hilarious! The pig cake! The lipstick penis?! Oh you are my kind of party girl! I know it’s different now but we wouldn’t have it any other way would we? Just delicious times. Hope you had a wonderful day really!

  2. Jane Taylor says

    November 3, 2016 at 11:30 am

    Ha! It is a very different experience having a birthday post-kids but I wouldn’t trade it. I’m a sucker for a handmade card and a gift…Even if Emily put hers in a gift bag full of dry sponge as a challenge because I hate touching dry sponge!! There were Lindt balls in there so I was prepared to be brave (it didn’t occur to me I couldv’e tipped the bag upside down! Probably cos they woke me at silly o clock in the morning!)

  3. The Rambler says

    November 3, 2016 at 2:18 pm

    hahahahahaah!!! On point with all these!! I died laughing at the pig cake comment…only because I’m right there with you! Mine was a cow and she was so proud. While my lip quivered telling my insides, it’s because she loves loves cows right now…loves loves them…meaning she loves me. #ablogginggoodtime

  4. Lindsay - And Other Idiots says

    November 3, 2016 at 8:14 pm

    My birthday is New Years Eve, so pre-kids it looked like, frankly, a drunken shit-show. Post kids, it also looks like a drunken shit-show but with the added bonus of a 4am existential crisis when I realise I will need to be parenting in precisely 3 hours. Linking up from #fridayfrolics for the first time – love your blog layout!

    • Emma @ Island Living 365 says

      November 3, 2016 at 8:16 pm

      Haha, loving your description of birthdays now! Thanks for lovely comment about blog ☺️

  5. Baby Anon / Michelle G says

    November 3, 2016 at 9:19 pm

    Ha ha ha, this made me giggle. It’s so true! I had a big special birthday this year which would usually involve an epic party and drinking til I fell over. This year I got daughter up, dressed and fed before I even attempted to open my pressies. And as for that lamented lunch in a wine bar to which you refer, we went for cooked breakfast in a caff πŸ˜‰ P.S. Don’t worry – the next decade is even more awesome than the thirties. Honestly πŸ™‚ #FridayFrolics

  6. Agent Spitback says

    November 3, 2016 at 10:03 pm

    HAHAHAHA….had to laugh at the last one! I must admit that I am resigned to the fact that I will never get to choose my cake and blow out my own candles until the youngest has all grown up. Your birthday is actually another festive occasion for them, isn’t it? When my kids were younger, they used to be very disappointed when OPENING my presents for me. #fridayfrolics

  7. Claire - Life, Love and Dirty Dishes says

    November 3, 2016 at 10:15 pm

    I haven’t opened any presents since 2009! #FridayFrolics

  8. Alison (MadHouseMum) says

    November 4, 2016 at 8:38 am

    Sadly all so very true! I think you’ve very cleverly got them all covered. They just aren’t the same πŸ™ Alison x #FridayFrolics

  9. Laura: Adventures with J says

    November 4, 2016 at 9:15 am

    Ha ha!! I love the honesty of children!! I have yet to experience children opening my presents as J is too young… I am not looking forward to that I must say… I hope you still had a lovely day though?

  10. Complicated Gorgeousness says

    November 4, 2016 at 11:10 am

    Is it bad that I want to know about your car crash 20s now. Believe me it gets worse as they get older… the presents seem to go for one ha. Loving the crackers tea ha x

    • Emma @ Island Living 365 says

      November 4, 2016 at 11:10 am

      I know! Crackers – pft!

  11. kristin mccarthy says

    November 4, 2016 at 2:15 pm

    No more fun birthdays- all we get is a hangover and kids up at 6 am demanding breakfast. My gifts are usually slippers and a new housecleaning product- like a vaccuum.

    Boo to birthdays.

    #fridayfrolics

  12. Laura Edwards says

    November 4, 2016 at 4:21 pm

    Lipstick Penis….haha haha! Gotta love your twenties x my favourite is when the kids ask you how old you are and they reply ‘mum that’s so old’ nice one xx #FridayFrolics

  13. Twin Pickle says

    November 4, 2016 at 4:47 pm

    I can’t say I miss the lipstick penis days! Agreed though, it’s no longer all about me on my birthday, although it never really has been because my Birthday is Christmas Eve so no-one actually gives a shit. All that aside, there’s nothing better than a birthday cuddle and a homemade card from your littles!! #FridayFrolics

    • Emma @ Island Living 365 says

      November 4, 2016 at 4:51 pm

      Oh nooo. Could be worse, my brother’s birthday is Christmas Day

  14. Nicole - Tales from Mamaville says

    November 4, 2016 at 5:36 pm

    Hahahahaha…. so bloody true!!! Great post. In my case, I share my birthday with my husband and the icing on the cake… my son is born two days before ours! So I literally have NO birthday left – sob!
    #FridayFrolics

  15. Turning up in Devon says

    November 4, 2016 at 7:26 pm

    Loved your pre and post children toast/kitchen in the small hours convo – spot on! I too love having my presents thrust into my face before 7am in the morning and *celebrating* my birthday dinner at 5pm in a pizza chain with child friendly menu – rock and if you will – roll Apart from the occasional night out I wouldn’t swap it for the penis facepaining years and wearing so little you freeze to death on night bus home!! Love my jammas too much now! #FridayFrolics

    • Emma @ Island Living 365 says

      November 4, 2016 at 7:27 pm

      Haha! Agreed. I much prefer a night in my Jammies now

  16. thishappened2metoday (Michelle) says

    November 4, 2016 at 7:56 pm

    Ha ha, all so true. I honestly do begrudge not being able to open my own presents!! And how I long for breakfast in bed, alone, not sharing anything! πŸ™‚
    #fridayfrolics

  17. Suzanne says

    November 4, 2016 at 8:28 pm

    I always used to pick the pig (or caterpillar) cake anyway so I’m fine with that. Th biggy is pre-children you’d plan your birthday for months. Post-children it’s a miracle if you remember the day before.

  18. Pen says

    November 4, 2016 at 8:59 pm

    This year my Mum bought me a card saying “Today is all about you”. I told her that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. Pen x #fridayfrolics

  19. Barrie Bismark says

    November 5, 2016 at 12:29 am

    This is spot on! Nothing is really about you anymore after you have children…including birthdays! Hope your birthday was great! #fridayfrolics

  20. Twicemicrowaved tea says

    November 5, 2016 at 2:33 pm

    Oh, birthdays are just not the same anymore. How I used to love a lie in…..! #fridayfrolics

    • Emma @ Island Living 365 says

      November 5, 2016 at 2:34 pm

      Yep, miss those lie ins!

  21. James Hopes says

    November 6, 2016 at 2:05 pm

    My birthday is Christmas Eve so has always been a bit gash! But definitely since the little man arrived it’s now just even greater levels of Christmas stress briefly halted for 10 minutes whilst I open a card and eat chocolate in bed!

    • James Hopes says

      November 6, 2016 at 2:06 pm

      #FridayFrolics obvs

  22. Silly Mummy says

    November 9, 2016 at 3:49 pm

    Yes, I definitely agree with these! I mostly don’t mind too much, though the loss of my choice of food does upset me a little! #FridayFrolics

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Hi, I’m Emma

Mum to two girls and wife to Mr C.
We used to live in wild and wonderful Yorkshire on the edge of the moors. We have now moved to the rather lovely and sunny Jersey, Channel Islands. Read about our adventures here.

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