My love for Instagram is once again waning as I try to get my head around the latest Instagram drama/bullying between two of my favourite accounts. What was once a nice supportive and collaborative community seems to be rapidly evolving into a platform for sourness and that makes my heart heavy.
I have always openly admitted that I have a love/hate relationship with Instagram. The bloody frustrating and ever-changing algorithm, the constant moving of the goal posts and those automated comments that shout “Nice job” when you have just poured your heart and soul into an Instagram caption.
“No, actually, it’s not a nice job. Read the caption. I’m having a fricking hard time.”
#Instapression
I’ve even questioned whether Instagram is good for our mental health and I diagnosed myself and half the nation with “Instapression” for an article that I wrote for a magazine. However, those niggles were mostly worth it because Instagram and its lovely quilt of photos kept me warm on those lonely days.
When I was struggling with living in Jersey, it was Instagram that showed me how great this little island is. Through documenting and sharing my life, I realised how incredibly lucky and privileged I was to be living in Jersey. It made me feel less isolated and I slowly fell in love with the island I now call home.
Yes, there are always accusations that Instagram can lead us to feeling inferior when we look at everyone else’s supposedly perfect life. I’ve never understood that theory though. If you don’t want perfection on your feed, don’t follow it. It’s your Instagram, your choice. Follow accounts that make you think and fill you with joy. Personally, I love a curated and carefully crafted feed, but I also like realism. Those beautiful and creative feeds give me something to aspire too.
Instagram is my happy place, it’s where I get to look at life through rose-tinted glasses when I need a lift. My need for organisation and control - something that any parent will know doesn’t exist in real life - is satisfied. However, Instagram is no longer like looking through rose-tinted glasses. It’s become a weed infested and overgrown garden of bullying and everyone and anyone seems to be afflicted by it. I think I need to prune back my Instagram and let the (metaphorical) sun shine again.
Give me back my safe space
Now that I work from home I use Instastories when I feel like I need some office banter, I watch everyone’s stories and I scroll through Instagram photos. It keeps me motivated, and it helps me keep working. When I hit a writing block, I turn to Instagram and it’s great for lifting that heavy block. I’m no longer looking at the same four walls, I’m having a peep into someone else’s life. I don’t have colleagues sat at the next desk. Instagram is my coworking space but now the recent Instagram drama/spat has sullied my safe space.
I’m not sure what the answer is. With reports of Instagram being the worst platform for anxiety, I should probably step away, but I’m reluctant to leave. Can’t everyone just get along? Actually, I know that’s impossible. Can’t we at least be civil to each other? Leave the drama out of the stories and the squares. Embrace each other’s differences and support each other’s ventures. In a world that feels like it’s frantically heading towards Armageddon, I need my safe space back. I need the nice Instagram, the instant mood lifter one. Not the one that drags you down and leads you down a dark path where you start questioning humanity.
It’s made me sad that two woman who I greatly admire on Instagram seem at loggerheads and as a result there are accusations of bullying from the two different camps and their followers. Women already have it hard enough when trying to establish themselves in the modern world. We are still fighting for equality, the last thing we should be doing is turning on each other. It troubles me that we still see that office bitching behaviour going on in Instagram. Where some women just seem to want to drag other women down. But that’s a whole different post.
Stop silencing women
Woman being silenced has been around for as long as time. You would think that in this modern society we could embrace every voice, listen to every voice, without resorting to nastiness. Instagram should be a platform that we can all call our own, where we can speak free from censorship. The attempt to silence strong women needs to stop.
Those little squares could be used for building each other up, for building bridges, and for uniting.
I want my Instagram back but for now I’m left with a sour taste in my mouth.
I have a love/hate relationship with Instagram. I think it was so knew that they took it in a wrong direction before they could correct it. 1000 of bought followers, algorithms which penalise those who try to grow organically. It is a great idea but it ran away with itself and almost needs to be started again. I am still undecided regarding leaving or not but unless they want a collapse I feel they need to address the issues asap.
I totally agree with this. I’ve used Instagram for years now. I genuinely love looking at photos and scrolling back through my feed. I love the community spirit and lovely people who I’ve interacted with. But now I feel I barely get seen and in order to get seen you need to join in with threads which get you a lot of random comments which I don’t want.
Laura (@dearbearandbean) says
I’ve completely missed this bullying between instagrammers! Social media has a lot to answer for when it comes to bullying. I see a lot of passive bullying on Facebook all the time x
I have never been bullying between anyone on Instagram either but then I miss so much of what goes on behind the scenes. I totally removed myself from it after seeing so much bullying on other social media channels, particularly Facebook! It’s hideous!
This post is so good Emma, but I can completely understand what you mean though. I have seen a couple of spat on the Instastories and actually gone too far. I’m a firm believer if someone apologies then that should be enough, not continue to drag it out.
I hate bullys, as laura said in her comment, social media does indeed have a lot to answer for when it comes to bullying. I’m sorry it all left a sour taste in your mouth, I’ve been put off by posting what I want to post as I always see passive aggressive messages and think they are aimed at me from friends. It’s horrible 🙁
xx
Emma T (@ETusty) says
I’m with you on the algorithm annoyances and not having the option to see my feed chronological to see everyone and of course f/uf. But I’m pretty hardy, I don’t get anxiety soon not effected by only seeing perfect. I use it to catch up with people but mostly to see pretty pictures.
Thankfully after so many years I’m still oblivious to bullying. I’ve never had a troll on any of my platforms, and I’ve personally not come across anything I would say is bullying. I don’t watch stories though so maybe that where it all kicks off. But as you say,we should be supportive of others, and kind. And if you don’t have anything nice or constructive in an acceptable way when asked then scroll on by.
Those algorithms ruined Instagram 🙁 Maybe they will go back to how it was…..one day!
As per usual I missed that drama. Insta is definitely getting a bad press more and more I find. I wonder if/when its bubble will burst. On another note, HOW huge is your monitor? A tad envious lol.
Family Makes (@FamilyMakes) says
I’ve always been an Instagram outsider as my feed is just not pretty! I try to keep it real but, *sigh*, never seem to hit the right note. But at least that makes me oblivious to the politics. I guess it goes on, whether in the real office or virtual world. When are we going to rise above it and just be nice, I wonder? Life is hard enough, isn’t it? I hope it goes back to cheering you up soon xx
I must be missing something, I just like sharing pretty pictures and miss all the drama. I hate the “nice job” bots but aside from that I find Instagram quite fun. I think I’m glad I’ve missed all the jabs and unpleasantness. I’ll happily stay in my pretty haze!