This weekend will see me and Mr C celebrating 10 years of marriage. This has got me thinking about divorce. Don’t worry, I am not about to serve Mr C the divorce papers. I’ve been thinking about how we made it to ten years without divorcing. Let’s face it, divorce is something that could happen in the future. I would be foolish to think that “happily ever after” means just that. We never know what is just round the corner. The fact that I think like this (that I appreciate the fact that Mr C could just pack his bags and leave), means that I never take him for granted. Yes, there have been some challenging times but that makes us appreciate the good times even more.
That’s life. It isn’t always smooth. Life can be like a mad, out of control rollercoaster and the same can be said for marriage. When we first got married it took a good couple of years for me to realise that marriage wasn’t all about romance. In fact, I think I might have gone into post-wedding shock. I remember waking up one morning, rolling over to see my husband’s face on the pillow next to me and thinking –
“this is it now.”
Ok, there might have been a swear word in there too. I now had a husband who would wee with the toilet door open, lovely! I, on the other hand, found that my underwear no longer matched. Then there was the flatulence. Not me. Honest. *Cough* Well, maybe the odd one. It’s the pasta. Apparently, those vows should really say, “I promise not to complain about the stench from your bum”. In those early days of marriage we tried to keep the excitement by going on mini-breaks but soon they fell by the wayside. However, I have something to share with you all. I now know the key to a successful marriage –
Hear me out. I don’t mean in a let him cheat, never expect him to help with the housework and let him spend his weekends getting drunk. I mean in that you don’t expect anything from him, you don’t expect him to change, you don’t expect your life to get significantly better. I am not some heroine from a Bronte novel. I didn’t marry for money, I didn’t marry to get on the social ladder, I didn’t marry for prospects.
I married for love.
Pass the sick bucket. I appreciate that love isn’t like the movies. Sometimes we argue. Any couple that says they don’t argue are liars or weird! We have never kissed in the rain, Mr C hasn’t ever swept me away on a romantic mini-break to Paris and I am still waiting for that diamond necklace a la ‘Pretty Woman’. The past decade has been a great one but it has also been hard and it has had its fair share of heartbreak. Looking back, I have realised that I have learnt a lot in those ten years of marriage. Here is my tongue in cheek guide to 10 things I have learnt from being married for ten years:
- That Mr C is a brilliant father. Sometimes I will look at him and the kids and wonder if he is my third child, toddler-man, if you like.
- Lying on the sofa and watching TV/Netflix is romantic. It really is. Nothing shouts romance like bonding over ‘First Dates’ and sharing your glee that you no longer have to go through the agony of dating. Yep, a right pair of smug marrieds!
- That when Mr C says let’s Netflix and chill, he means just that, not the other one. Not so smug now.
- That we are a good team. We support each other no matter what. During redundancies, illness, loss and hardship.
- The best way to cheer Mr C up is to offer him a plate of meat and beer. His idea of a good restaurant is a help yourself carvery. All of the meat!
- That if I want Mr C to do anything then I don’t ask/nag. Instead I whisper it when he is asleep and then he thinks that it was his idea to do it in the first place.
- Marriage makes you fatter. Mr C loves a cream cake and now so do I!
- I’m not always right: I’m just right 99.9% of the time.
- Have different interests. Mr C loves all things engineering. This makes no sense to me, all I know is that I snigger when he starts talking about “erections”. He is also insanely good at maths and loves nothing better than some complicated mathematical equation. I on the other-hand struggle with basic multiplication. However, we appreciate that we have different interests, different things that we are good at. We celebrate each other’s achievements. We also find common ground in our love for rubbish TV. See earlier points.
- Mr C isn’t the most observant. Dust, new glasses, clothes or haircut. You name it. Then again I’m hardly known for my observation skills. Therefore, we are pretty much a perfect match.
Happy Anniversary Mr C. Thank you for being my husband and for not packing your bags…….just yet.