As someone who used to teach in a state comprehensive school I have always felt very strongly that there is no reason to send children to private school. I believe that education isn’t a privilege you should have to pay for. No, education is a human right that everyone is entitled to.
I don’t like the idea behind the very wealthy segregating their child from others by sending them to private school.
How can a child finish private school as a rounded person when they have only mixed with the upper echelons of society.
I was passionate about my belief in the state system believing that it offered children a broad and inclusive education. Then I had children of my own and those ideals I had felt so strongly about started to be questioned. I felt torn. I started to worry about the size of classes, about the books that needed replacing in the school and the inconsistent marking of my daughter’s work. I became more appreciative of what a private school could offer our daughters. This worry was compounded when it became clear from a school report that a teacher had no real idea of our oldest’s ability. I don’t blame the teacher. When you have a large class it can be hard to get to know every pupil and if you are well behaved and working well then you can get lost in the system.
As a teacher I was a strong advocate for our state schools but as a parent I could see the benefits of private schooling. This is only natural and after a while I came to an uneasy truce with myself. I wasn’t turning my back on my ideals I was simply wanting the best for my children. Sending your child to private school is often something that is seen as shameful in some middle-class circles with mutterings of “what a waste of money”. It is also a recurrent article in The Daily Mail with stories of parents that had to sell their home so that they could send their little darlings to private school. There was an article last week where a mother bemoaned wasting over £100,000 in school fees on her daughter. Why did the Mother begrudge spending this money on her daughter? Because now at 17 years old the daughter was dropping out of school to be a jelly shooter in Magaluf. Not the return she expected on her investment. Hardly value for money. But isn’t that the point, private school doesn’t guarantee your child becoming a Dr or some other respectable job. When children are involved there are no guarantees.
The average cost of sending your child to private school per year is £13,194. This is a huge amount of money and certainly something that we could not afford to do. For the cost of a family car you can expect smaller classes, better facilities and a bounty of resources but does this contribute to a better education? No doubt it plays an important part but surely one of the most important things to consider is the teacher. Paying for a private education doesn’t necessarily mean that you are going to get a better teacher. Oldest now has a teacher who inspires her to learn. Oldest adores her because she makes learning interesting and fun. The teacher obviously cares about every individual child in the classroom. Oldest is learning and enjoying school life and this isn’t a privilege that we have had to pay for.
Oldest attends a school that reflects the society she lives in. She mixes with children from all walks of life. On the other hand a private school would give her a massively distorted view of society. Education should be about equality and private schools just cement the idea that the wealthy can pay their way through life. Also as a teacher I realise that any bright child will do well as long as they have support at home and that is something that oldest has in abundance.
There are parents that sell their houses, work long hours and don’t take holidays so that their children can attend private school but is this money well spent? I have to say that in my opinion I don’t think it is but then we are very fortunate because Oldest attends a good primary school and she loves learning. I might feel very differently if that wasn’t the case. Who knows, maybe in the future I will feel forced to buy my children’s education.
I think you hit the nail on the head in the last paragraph. I’m a teacher too and know that there are good schools and not so good schools, in both the state and private sectors. Hubby is also a teacher and we have had the state/private debate a few times since we fell pregnant. I think it very much depends on your local state provision and the quality of schools in your area. But like some state schools in this area, there are some private schools that I wouldn’t dream of sending my child to either.
Yes, you always want to do what is best for your child and like you say that very much depends on the state school that they are in. Thanks for your comment 🙂
We all do what we think is best for our own, for us the decision was taken away when we had 6 children but we support state school with tutor top up. I really belief it is parental support at home that matters more than the school you send your kids to. #MarvMondays
I couldn’t agree more. Parental support really is key! Thanks for your comment 🙂
To be honest, if the time comes when I have the money to do so, I would choose to send my daughter to private school but only (if she’s older) she agrees to it. I don’t mind what she wants to do in life, but I think smaller class sizes and attention from teachers and often a larger variety of subject options is better!
#marvmondays
yes smaller classes can make a massive difference!
We had an issue with cachment, and good schools. We worried we wouldn’t get a place in the local school, so we sent RJ for an assessment at a private one too, and they offered him a place. Once I’d seen the facilities, and the class sizes, and met the teachers, I couldn’t bring myself to turn the place down, even when we did get a place at the local state. It was definitely the class sizes that did it though - a 2 class, 40 child intake versus a 4 class, 120 child intake was a no brainer in the end despite my feelings about private school which totally match yours! #bigpinklink
Sounds like you made the right decision, like you say class sizes are really important and we want the best for our children and that could be private or state 🙂
Interesting post and one that certainly resonates with me. I’m firmly anit-private education. I work in education myself and am very pro-state schooling. However, your points about class sizes etc do hit home. I’ve heard of cases where paying for a childs education has most certainly worked and been advantageous and on the flip side where it made little or no difference at all. Perhaps my views will change over time but for now I know I’ll be sending my son to a state school not too far from us (pending OFSTED results. #bigpinklink
It’s a tricky one isn’t it! We are happy with the education that oldest is now receiving in her state school and I hope that continues 🙂
Interesting! This is pretty much the only thing that my husband and I disagree on: he is vehemently against private schooling. I am a state secondary school teacher. I do think parental support is the most critical factor, and I hate the pressures that state schools are under, which private schools do not have to consider (SATS, anyone?). I’m fairly sure we wouldn’t be able to afford to privately educate our children, but I wish our education was good enough so that the quiet, well-behaved children didn’t slip through the net. #marvmondays
I think partners disagreeing over education and whether it should be private is a common one. I also suspect that it is especially common when one of the people is a teacher! Like you I don’t think we could ever afford to privately educate our children but it is worrying that sometimes the quiet children can slip through the net but when you have average class sizes of 30 plus you can understand why it can happen. I also agree that the most important thing is the parental support at home.
Ooooh, this is such a tough one, isn’t it? It was very interesting to read it from your perspective as a former teacher, and how you now feel about it now that you have children yourself. I have wondered whether my thoughts on the subject are far too lackadaisical, as my neighbours seem to be tying themselves in knots over where to send their children to school, and as the three schools we are in the catchment for are all, luckily, very good, I feel bad that I’m not half so worried about it as they are. I attended a ‘beacon’ school, and did very well, my brother attended the same school, and did not. He then went to college when he left school, having to retake everything, did much better, and has ended up with an amazing job! I ended with a very average job! Maybe that’s where my thoughts come from, I keep thinking that if the children are destined to do well, they will. We have some beautiful private schools near to us, and I walk past and admire the buildings (one is honestly like Hogwarts!) and the uniforms, and wonder what it would be like to attend such a place. But we would never be able to afford it, and like you, I wouldn’t want such a skewed environment for the children. I think I will just wait and see what happens when they start, and as a previous commenter suggested, top up with tutoring if I suspect they are struggling, or falling behind. Thanks for another great, thought provoking post, and joining us again at #bigpinklink!
Thanks for your lovely comment 🙂 I think you have the right attitude as it is about finding the right school for your child. What might work for one might not for another. There never are any guarantees and you make a really good point with relation to your brother going to the same school but not doing as well then but in the long run he has done really well so not an issue. Argh it is a tough one. We couldn’t afford private but I still find myself getting into knots about it! Although I am not sure how comfortable I would feel at parents evening in a school like Hogwarts 🙂
Fab post, I agree with everything and I just so hope my little one gets the same as your eldest finally has - a teacher that loves what they do and can inspire their pupils. I guess the stressful part is it’s up to us to try and choose a school that can help him best! Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo
Yes, it is important to find a school and teacher that you feel really happy with. Oldest really adores her teacher and is excited to go to school on a morning, which is lovely to see. Although her teacher goes off on maternity leave soon so fingers crossed the new teacher is just as good. She will have a tough act to follow 🙂
I was private school educated. There are definitely advantages - small classes, more extracurricular activites. But even if finances hadn’t made the decision for us, I doubt we’d be rushing to put our little boy into private school when the time comes. It can be quite isolating to be segregated from a whole sector of your community and I don’t think kids who are brought up only with other well off kids become the most well rounded adults. I include myself in this - I’ve had to do a lot if work to overcome prejudices that were inherent amongst most of my peers growing up. It’s an ongoing process and I still have a long way to go. Plus there are some great state schools out there which need to be supported. And, with a few notable exceptions, I wouldn’t say that the teaching at my secondary school was any more than average (though hard to tell without anything to compare with)
Thanks for your really honest comment. It is really interesting to get the perspective from someone who has attended private school and a lot of what you experienced is what I worry about private schooling.
I found this really interesting. I myself went to private school from the age of 6 until 18 and I was quite academic, gaining straight A’s in most of my subjects at GCSE and A Level. I got a partialscholarship to get in but they had to pay for my sister which meant that in the early years we went without a lot. However my sister wasn’t as academic as me and didn’t get anywhere near as good grades. Neither of us are doctors or lawyers, I went to university, my sister didn’t. But I do think private school gives you a certain something that states schools don’t, even down to extra curricular activities and I am very thankful that my parents sent me to the school that they did. Would I send my children to private school? If I had enough money to do that and still enjoy a great lifestyle with them including holidays, weekends away etc then yes I would. As it stands we don’t make enough money to send two little girls and soon a third boy to private school without sacrificing a lot. And to me those holidays, days out and just being together as a family are more important than their education, I honestly do think that. My eldest daughter is in a lovely small village state school and is thriving. xx
Sounds like you had an amazing experience at private school and you obviously received a fantastic education. I completely agree with what you say about holidays and being together is just as important. It is so important that families get those times together as I really believe that it makes for a stronger family unit. Thanks for your comment x
This is such an interesting discussion! I’ve always felt like it would be ridiculous to pay for education, and certainly not something I’d be in a financial position to do. I understand the benefits of a private education but I really think that they too offer their own limits. From the experience I’ve had of meeting and befriending people who had a private education I’ve found that 9/10 just do not have a reasonable grasp on how the world works, and often their views on money, society and employment are totally out of touch with reality. Xx
#bigpinklink ☺️
Argh your other comment seems to have vanished! But from what you said I agree their are pros and cons to a private education and like you say the danger is a private school could perhaps narrow your understanding of society. It is such a tricky one and I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer. All down to the individual child and school.
So much depends on what the schools are like locally. We’re really lucky as where we live the majority of the schools are excellent so it wasn’t an issue. If the local schools hadn’t been so good, then I’m not sure what we’d have done. We don’t have the money to go private. It’s not just the fees, but all the extra things as well.
Yes, it completely comes down to what the state schools are like in your area and how happy your child is at school
An interesting post - I can see that there are benefits to paying for private education but I think bright children can do well if they have a good teacher and support at home in whichever school they are in. I went to a private school (my choice) for a couple of years while my twin sister attended the local state school. Whilst some of the work I was doing there was a little ahead of what she was doing, the snobbery that I encountered at the school meant that I went from loving school and learning to dreading going. I was from a council estate and once the other pupils found this out, my life was a misery - as far as they were concerned I wasn’t good enough to be there. Once I moved schools to the same school as my twin I was much happier and I did well in my GCSEs and A Levels there. The experience though put me off private schools and would definitely make me think twice about sending my children to one. That said, I know a lot of people who went to private school who enjoyed it and who aren’t snobby in any way at all so just because my school wasn’t so nice, doesn’t mean they all are!
I am sorry to read about your experience at private school, sounds awful. I agree with you where you say that if a child is bright and has good support at home then they will do well no matter what. Well that is what I keep telling myself 🙂
Haha, I have said the very same thing to my husband, that I went to a state school and I haven’t done too badly 🙂 Thanks for your comment x
Well I said a load of stuff about this in a comment on your “why I left teaching” post which I think got lost in the ether. I went to private school, my siblings didn’t. In all honestly, they came out with much better results than I did and have gone on to successful careers. I didn’t to be honest. So what you say about private not necessarily guaranteeing anything is true. Now I’m a mum. We’ve spent over a hundred thousand on all 3 of our kids’ education at the international school and frankly go without a LOT including necessary repairs on the house to pay for it. But their school is lightyears better than the state schools here in Malta. Forward thinking individuality-encouraging low homework rate philosophy. We are torn apart deliberating over whether to move them out. I have no answer to private vs state! #BigPinkLinky
Oh no! Your others one on the other post have come through. Thanks for sending it again. Like you say I think it comes down to the individual child and their needs and the school and what they are offering for the money. The school in Malta just sounds so amazing and well worth the money . I would love to work there and I love that it has a low homework rate philosophy. Sounds like you have made a lot of sacrifices to send them there but then they are getting a fantastic education and if they are flourishing and happy it sounds like it is worth it. I can understand why you are feeling torn. It’s not an easy decision to make. It’s one we discuss a lot but I don’t think where we are that there are any private schools like the ones your children attend, if anything it is more exam orientated and even more pressure 🙁
I like what this article mentions about the size of the classes. I am considering sending my kid to a private school, as I think he could benefit from the smaller class and personal relationships with teachers. I’ll have to keep this in mind for next year when he would start. Thanks for the post!
Glad it was useful. Thanks for your comment 🙂
Rosie Hill (@EcoGitesLenault) says
I went to a small private school as my parents did not have faith in the new local comprehensive (it had a rough reputation). To be honest I hated it as I did not fit in with the other girls, it gave me very little preparation for the real world and some of the teaching (ironically French being the first subject that springs to mind) was not particularly good. Once I got to doing A levels I moved to another school, a comprehensive just over the county border as I wanted to do sciences that my private school did not do to A level standard. I enjoyed it much more, learning more both academically and in life skills. So for me I would never have contemplated sending the boys to a private school (not that we could afford it had we stayed in the UK). Of course we will never know how different my life might have been had I gone to the local state school, or if I had sent the boys to a private school, but I am happy with the decision I have made for their education. #FabFridayPost
I think that is the important thing, making a decision that you and the children are happy with 🙂
Really interesting post. I went to private school myself and, although I was happy enough at primary school, by the time I reached secondary school I started to understand the inequality of the system and it was something I felt really uncomfortable with. So I left at 16 and went to a local college instead where I was so much happier. I understand that my parents were just trying to do the best they could for me (and I know they struggled to pay the school fees at times) and obviously I would want the best possible education for my children. However, I fundamentally disagree with the private school system and ‘buying an education’, and I believe that school should also be about mixing with people from different sorts of backgrounds so there is no way that I would send my children to private school (not that we could afford it anyway). It’s so interesting to read your perspectives both as a teacher and a parent.
I went to a private all-girls boarding school in the UK since the age of 10 years old. I felt that it was very enclosed and I did not understand how the world works. I didn’t do well at all. When I was 18 I decided to move out and have my own flat and redo all my G.C.S.E. and A-levels at a day private school. I did incredibly well on most subjects. Though it took me quite sometimes to get used to being around boys, I used to get very nervous talking to them. One thing that was good about being at boarding school are the friendships I have with other girls. Ethan is at state school. He is loving every moment of it. I don’t see anything wrong with state school. If I had the money, I would most likely would still send him to state school - unless he is really unhappy. But a big No-No for me is sending him to a boarding school. Great post. Thank you for sharing and linking up with us on #FabFridayPost
Wow you sound like you were really brave, to leave home at 18 and get your own flat and then redo all of your exams that is brilliant! I agree if your child is happy where they are then really is no need to move them 🙂 x
Ooh Em, really glad I just stumbled across this post in my Twitter feed..So, our youngest starts an all girls’ private school in September. We have a few reasons for doing this and mainly because my two older children have both now been through secondary school, one has left and the other is currently doing GCSEs. They have, unfortunately become completely lost ‘in the system’ they go to a ‘good’ Catholic school (same as I did) but it isn’t like it was in my day (I sound so old!) even though the school has a brilliant ethos we have had so many problems, such as bullying and my children being discouraged from taking certain subjects (I suspect in order to keep results and league tables as high as possible) and not being given support when they’ve needed it.
My oldest hated the school and couldn’t wait to leave, my middle daughter loves school but more for a social aspect and less for learning, I do feel she would have done better if in an all-girl environment she has really knuckled down for her GCSEs, I just hope it’s not too late. I could be very wrong about private school but this is what we want for Rose and the school we have chosen is perfect (at least I hope so!) it is a definite commitment from a cost perspective though, I just hope she does well and doesn’t end up in Magaluf 😉
Fab post as always, and really interesting x
It is such a difficult decision to make and in some respect I think you have to go with your gut. Getting lost in the system is something that I really worry about for Oldest and we are still unsure about what to do for the best regarding her education. There are so many positives regarding private education and I think that if you find the right one then it has the potential to provide an amazing education! I find myself torn as a teacher and as a parent and then also my experiences as a pupil. I am sure it is not too late for your middle daughter. Also Rose will never end up in Magaluf! I think if you have found a really good school that ticks all the boxes and you can afford it then you should jump at the chance and embrace it 🙂
It’s certainly a debate that a lot of people will have.
I had the best of both worlds. State primary and secondary (no grammar schools in our area unfortunately), then refused to go to the local area 6th form school (ours didn’t have a 6th form then) or college, and I wouldn’t have got in to the heavily oversubscribed good 6th form school in Oxford. I wanted to go to the private boys school in the village which took girls in the 6th form. We only afforded it because I got a music scholarship, and then had it topped up so my mum only had to find expenses, uniform, trips etc - even that was a couple of thousand a year. I was a day girl in the L6, and boarded in the U6 (because they needed more boarders to day pupils, and my friend and I were only charged £10 a week for boarding to allow us to do it.
I wanted sport and music as well as better education than I’d ever have had at 6th form schools who didn’t care about sports whether you wanted it or not. I had to give up my Saturday dance classes to go to private school. But it was the best place for me - I’d never have gained the confidence I had on leaving there from a massive local 6th form where most of my friends went.
The myth is that it’s all rich people sending kids to private school and it isn’t always. Maybe the top ones (apart from scholarships), but there was a real mix at our school - foreign children, farmers, single parent families, kids whose families for generations had been at the school.
Would I send my child to private school. Certainly not at a young age to board, but I’d certainly debate it if he was struggling at school and there weren’t tutors to fall back on (it may come to that). And for older children with specialist interests where the local state school can’t provide it - definitely.
He currently goes to what used to be one of the top primary schools in the country, but there’s a lot of politics with the head, and a lot of children have been leaving recently which is giving me doubts about the school. N loves it which is the main thing, but if he doesn’t start improving over the next year (he’s progressed a lot from virtually nothing, but I don’t have the confidence to teach him the correct way, and work full time so getting the time to help him when he’s not tired is difficult) I’ll be starting to question what we can do.
The OH always said there’d be ‘no way you’re sending him to private school like you did’, but now our niece has been moved out of the our school to go to a private one (and needing 6 hours extra tutoruing a week to get her up to standard as Y6) doesn’t send great messages about the school N’s at, and he’s now saying maybe we should get money ready just in case.
A good debate to raise. It depends on so many factors, before you even contemplate the money. If there are good state schools in an area, then I think that a well-adjusted child will do well anywhere and the state system has the benefit of them mixing with a wider demographic. If there is a grammar school nearby, then that may be a parents’ choice and some would say you have the best of both worlds: quite a mix of students in an environment where they are stretched. If your child has a particular strength, such as sport, drama , art, music etc and you are keen on the private route, then look into scholarships. Bursaries are also available at private schools. A mixture of the two means daughter 3 is at a private school. Her 4 other sisters all went to/are at grammar schools, although my step daughter was at a state school until moving to sixth form in a grammar school. The state school didn’t push her enough. There are options available and I think that it is really worth parents exploring all the options and understanding that there are wider opportunities as they get older. It is extremely complex and individual. There is simply no right or wrong per se and some parents’ choices will be far more limited than others. A great post. Alison x