What Valentine’s Day is really like with children

With Valentines day fast approaching next month i’ve been thinking about the romantic day. Before our children came along Valentine’s Day might have involved going out for a romantic meal or perhaps if we were really lucky a night away somewhere lovely and luxurious. There might have been a bunch of roses, chocolate and perhaps some fizzy. Or perhaps our other half would run us a bath filled with bubbles. Whatever we did we would have had a lovely time as a couple but what does Valentine’s day look like now that we have children? Here is our guide to Valentine’s day as parents;

What Valentine’s Day is really like with children

• It’s Valentine’s Day? I hadn’t even realised.

• Your other half runs you a bath, delighted you leap in and sit down, only to realise that he has omitted to clear the bath of the toys and as a result you now have a collection of animals wedged up your bum.

• You announce that you are going to cook your other half a romantic meal but in reality you are far too tired to cook from scratch so you buy it all in from Marks and Spencers and hide the boxes.

• Your romantic dinner involves a chirping audience that should be in bed but have decided to come down and gatecrash. They then spend the dinner making very nuanced observations like, “have you burnt the dinner again Mummy?” And “Daddy, why are there no lights on and just candles? Is it so you don’t have to look at Mummy’s face?”

Netflix and chill

• You are delighted when your other half announces the plan for Valentines Day to be Netflix and chill because well to you that is exactly what it means, sex does not feature on that agenda anywhere.

• You settle down to your romantic netflix marathon and find that you have the concentration span of a gnat you can’t keep

• up with the plot, subplots or characters. As a result you fall asleep and wake up on the sofa alone with one of your children’s snotty tissues stuck to your face.

• You go to watch your wedding dvd but it won’t work as the children have been using it as a frisbee.

• The best present your other half can give you is the promise of them getting up with the kids at the weekend.

• Now your version of dressing sexy is scraping the yoghurt and snot stains of your clothes and remembering to put deodorant on.

• You get excited when your other half puts the kettle on.

• You can’t wait to go to bed to…..sleep.

Does our Valentines day sound like yours? We would love to know if you manage to celebrate it.