When I walked away from teaching to become a stay at home mum I was at the top of my game. An outstanding teacher who had secured two promotions and I was about to be promoted again. I was in a job that I loved yet I chose to leave.
I worked in a secondary comprehensive school in Bradford. According to a recent survey, Bradford is a Local Authority where
two thirds of the teaching profession are likely to leave their school in the next year and over half are considering leaving the profession entirely.
That survey paints a picture of a very dissatisfied workforce yet the teachers I worked with were anything but. Yes they were exhausted and burnt out but they were also passionate, driven and extremely hard-working. The most loyal group of people you could ever find with the kind of camaraderie that I doubt I will ever find again.I worked hard, leaving the house at 6:30am before my daughter had even woken up.
By the time I had arrived at school the staff work room would already be busy with teachers checking resources, planning lessons and looking over their marking. It was hard work and it was relentless. I wanted to ensure that I delivered the best lesson for my pupils, that every pupil was engaged and learning. Yet this took its toll and became more and more of an administrative nightmare and less about the teaching. There were the constantly moving goal posts, changes to how you should mark, and shifting expectations of what constitutes good progress. After I had finished teaching for the day I would then either be marking, planning, filling in paperwork, ringing parents, running detentions or after-school booster classes.
At quarter to 5 I would dash out of the door to collect my daughter from her childminder and on arriving home cook her dinner and start the bedtime routine until her Dad arrived back home at 6:30. He would then take over and I would go back to marking and planning. I usually worked until 10:00pm most nights and most of Sunday. Sometimes it would be Saturday too. I probably saw my daughter for less than ten hours a week. My family life was suffering but I loved teaching and didn’t want to have to choose between my career and my family.
I was passionate about teaching. I wanted to enthuse and engage every child in my classroom which with the average class size being 30 pupils plus was no mean feat. But I did it. I prided myself on teaching everyone well.
But Gove signalled the end for me. His elitist views on what constituted as teaching and what our pupils should be learning baffled and angered me in equal measure.
The man was completely out of touch as to what goes on in a school and out of touch with the needs of pupils. My daughter at 6 years old spends her Friday nights doing grammar work which last Friday saw her working on possessive pronouns and prepositional phrases. Work that is so tedious I worry that it is going to turn her off school. You might think that learning the nuts and bolts of grammar at such a young age is a good thing but the problem is that the teacher is under so much pressure to get through everything in class that the parent also has to help by teaching their child when they get home. Trying to teach a six year old about apostrophes when they are already exhausted from a day at school is not easy and I’m a teacher! Teaching is no longer about inspiring your pupils instead it’s about ticking the boxes. Gove and his successor, Morgan, are creating an army of drones.
My children’s generation aren’t allowed to be creative instead they are drilled on how to regurgitate facts and pass exams like robots.
Politicians have made the new curriculum so elitist that it is zapping the joy from teaching and learning. There is no time for my six year old daughter to just read a book purely for enjoyment, now she needs to be explaining in complex sentences what can be inferred from the book.
I saw my pupils as individuals yet the new expectations meant that I wasn’t allowed to, instead I had to view them as a statistic. They became grouped; below target, on target, above target. With more paperwork to be filled in on how I was going to ensure each group reached their target. Ludicrous. Despite this I continued. I was dedicated to teaching and I hoped and wished that common sense would eventually prevail. Yet whilst off on maternity leave with my second daughter I had an epiphany. I was enjoying being at home with my children, having the time to sit and chat with my oldest about her day. I now had the time to listen to her. I had to admit to myself that I had been sacrificing the needs of my daughter for my pupils. Yet Gove would have scoffed saying that I needed to work harder.
Well he was right I did need to work harder but on my own family.
I was good at my job but I was failing my family. The birth of my second daughter made me realise that I couldn’t continue as a teacher. I was one of the many teachers leaving the profession but this wasn’t for the reasons the media would have you believe. I wasn’t lazy and I wasn’t a failure, I just realised that I couldn’t balance being a good teacher with being a good Mum. I have not regretted my decision for one minute but do I miss teaching? Absolutely. However I decided that it was about time I put my family first and with the damage this government has done to our education system I don’t think I will be returning to teaching anytime soon.
Emma this is a great post that sums up exactly the challenges faced by the profession and the battle between work and family life. I too recently left teaching (primary) to stay at home with my children and hopefully to retrain as I can’t see myself returning to teaching either!
It’s such a shame that great teachers are leaving because the demands of the job are completely unrealistic. I am loving having more time with my children though. Thanks for sharing
Clare x
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Thanks Clare. It really is a shame that so many good teachers are leaving and I worry about the future of our education system. However, like you say it is great that we get more time at home with our children :-) Any ideas about what you might retrain as?
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So sad that kids are forced to compete on marks, training for exams rather than learning for life and pursuing their passions and creativity. Thanks for sharing your insider insights #FabFridayPost
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Thanks for your comment :-) It is sad how education has become dictated by exams and marks. There really needs to be time for inspiring and enthusing children and helping them to explore their creativity.
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Couldn’t agree more - I have a hugely creative wife who I hope the kids will take after. We’ll be sure to encourage their creativity at home even more, given your feedback..
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I know when I worked I hated not seeing my babies as often as I used to. I worked a retail job and the hours weren’t bad but my not yet diagnosed Narcolepsy made it extremely hard to function after my shift was over. I was so use to spending all that tending to the house and my children. It really made me feel different and I did not like it.
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Sorry to hear that you had a tough time of it. Hope you are feeling better now x
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Thank you! Being a SAHM is the best thing ever.
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I am a teacher too, so I totally get where you are coming from. I don’t know a single teacher, or parent, or anyone really apart from presumably a few elitist Tories in the government who think that what has happened to education over the past few years is a good thing. Glad you are happier as a SAHM. #FabFridayPost
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Thanks for your comment. I miss teaching but for now I am much happier to be a SAHM and I am very lucky that I was able to make that choice :-)
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Wow I could have written most of this myself. I’m a Head of History in a large Bristol comp and promised myself that I’d never do parenting or teaching at a sub-par level. I leave home before 7, and collect my daughter from nursery at 5.30pm every night until my husband gets in at 6.30pm and whilst my teaching isn’t suffering I can’t begin to explain the guilt I have about the little time I get to spend with my little girl. I too have been thinking that when we decide it’s time for number two, Gove & Morgan have now made this into a profession that isn’t tantamount to being able to be a good parent too. Thank you for such a brilliant post.
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Thank you for your comment although I am saddened to read what is very familiar. I remember the guilt :-( You sound like you are doing a brilliant job and it should be possible to balance being a good teacher with being a good mum/dad but like you say Gove and Morgan have made this extremely difficult. Something needs to change otherwise the teaching profession will continue to hemorrhage good teachers.
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It’s a shame what teaching has become, by the sounds of it. I spend most of my time as a sahm (I work part-time freelance as well) and do love spending time with my little two year old son. Kids are only young once and he is growing so quickly. I hope you enjoy your time and hopefully the teaching situation will improve if you ever decide to go back. Polly #fabfridaypost
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I am really enjoying being a stay at home Mum and like you say they grow up so fast so it is important that we make the most of this time :-) x
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One of the reasons we decided to moved to Hitchin was to get Ethan to the best school possible - Ofstead Outstanding Standard. Unfortunately, when we went to visit the various school in Hitchin during their Open Days - we found that this particular one just 2 minutes walk up the road was something that I would not put Ethan through. It has that uncomfortable feelings and rumours that was just absolutely outrageous - like home work on the very first day of Reception school; and some kids would stay up crying until 7pm because they couldn’t finished off their homework; and the school doesn’t even allow kids to come along on their Open Day - ridiculous! We ended up choosing the most natural environment development setting there is in Hitchin, even though it was half hour walk from our home - was I don’t drive and there is no buses that go straight there. It’s not Ofstead Outstanding standard but it is the one that Ethan went to view and like. Now, he is loving his new school setting and making new friends, plus there is not written homework at all - just Phoenix practicing at home. Grade is not everything - just let kids be kids I say. Great post. Thank you for sharing your views - I really wish there was something out there that retrained politicians. Thank you for linking up with #FabFridayPost
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You sound like you made an excellent choice. I think the Ofsted report can act as a guidance to start with but what is more important is how you feel when you visit a school. Are the children happy and supported? etc. It is great that Ethan is in a school that he now loves and that he is making a fantastic start to his education.
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Gove is a dirty word in this house. I have so much admiration for teachers. I didn’t even make it through my PGDE. I had to work and was in the process of buying a house. On placements I was up at 6.30am and didn’t get back home ’til gone 11pm. I saw how hard those teachers worked and knew I was planning on having children in the not very distant future and it didn’t seem worth it. I was really disheartened by the fact there was a 12 year old boy who could barely read but there simply wasn’t time or the resources to give him the support he needed.
With the way things are going I’m glad I didn’t get invested. Plus, with two autistic boys there’s no way I could have put the time in that’s needed.
Enjoy your daughter. You will teach her more than any pupil you’ve ever had.
#SundayStars
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Haha, I am glad I am not the only one who will not hear “Gove” muttered within earshot. I’m loving being at home with my daughters and being able to help them with their school work, something that I never had the time to do before.
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Goodness you sound very disillusioned! I have several friends and family who are teachers and they all echo similar thoughts… #sundaystars
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Sorry about sounding a bit disillusioned, like you say I think that they are a lot of us out there at the moment. I felt that I had to write about it as I feel very strongly about the teacher bashing that goes on in the press and the incredible pressure that students are now under to meet targets.
Thank you for your comment :-)
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Oh it’s so hard isn’t it! I’m a mum of 3 and a teacher and would love to be a SAHM but can’t make it work right now. It’s so pressurising and I agree with all that you say - I’m currently avoiding the pile of books still unmarked after working lots of half term!
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Oh no, I remember avoiding the piles of marking but it is impossible to try and get everything done so I would say carry on ignoring and enjoy your evening :-)
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I identify with this pos. I’m a drama teacher at a school in Leeds. I work three days since having my son which makes things easier in terms of the mummy guilt you mention but harder as I find I need more hours in school to do everything I need, mainly extra curricular/GCSE coursework catch up. My husband works tues - sat 9:30-23:00 in the family restaurant so I have to work in nap times or evenings when my son is in bed. It’s hard work but people say “but you only work three days?” #sundaystars
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I really feel for you. I have often thought that working as a part-time teacher is actually harder as you have to do even more at home and there is the added work when sharing classes. In teaching there is no such thing as “only working 3 days”. It is like the other comments you get about the holidays and finishing at 3pm…Don’t get me started on that one :-) Thanks for your comment x
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I love this post and agree with all your points. The government is counting on the goodwill of teachers to keep taking a bashing whilst giving their hearts and souls to the profession. I would never contemplate joining the profession now and anyone doing it deserves a medal and a bloody BREAK!
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I think teachers have an impossible job these days, and I respect you for having done it and done it well. Would you consider private tutoring in the future (somethinf an ex teaching aquaintance of mine now does)? #Bigpinklink
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Yes, it is something that I may consider as it would allow me to carry on teaching :-)
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My friend is leaving teaching this year to return to marketing - because of all of the above. Making tests more important than children, making education suffocating for everyone involved. She sent a message to our whatsapp group this morning that just said “no no no no no” with a crying face :( #bigpinklink
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Oh no :-( It is a hard decision to make to walk away from the job you love and I hope she feels better when she has finished. The constant testing is too much for little ones and just takes the joy out of learning it is also an additional pressure for the children, teachers and parents x
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I wasn’t a teacher but I did give up my job 18months ago for very similar reasons. I felt like I was failing on both accounts - failing my family and failing at work. I was a Digital Marketing Manager for a major cosmetics company, a role I’d built up for over ten years and I love it!! But I loved my family more. Thank you so much for linking up to #SundayStars xx
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It’s hard when you have to walk away from a job that you love so much but like you say family should always come first :-) x
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This is an absolutely fascinating and insightful view from the other side of the desk as it were. I know a lot of teachers and I know for a fact that an awful lot of them, if not all, feel exactly the same as you, I have a lot of my own concerns, my daughter is in reception and already gets homework and has been saying that she must use the correct colours for things. There seems to be no room for imagination and creativity anymore. I tell her that if she wants to colour her horse purple, you should. After all, without fanciful imagination and creativity, there would be an extreme lack of books like Harry Potter, The Hobit, Walter Moers crzy creations. It would be a sad loss, and to the art world too. Thanks so much for linking up such an interesting read to the #bigpinklink
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You are exactly right about your points that you make about creativity and I’m sad to read that your daughter is being told what the “correct” colours to use are. Who decides what is the correct colour? And besides we all see colours differently. I think it is crazy the amount of homework they get set from such a young age. My daughter had homework at nursery. It was one of the reasons we were looking to move her to another school but then we ended up moving out of the area anyway x
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Such a great, eye-opening post. I think some people believe teaching starts at 9 and ends at 4 and it’s an easy job but I have several teacher friends and I know it is one of the hardest jobs you can do. It’s such a terrible shame that the added red tape then ruined a job you loved. As with everything else, why don’t the government come to the experts in any given field before making changes, I.e. Asking the teachers themselves?! *shakes head* #sundaystars
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Thank you for your lovely comment and I agree - why doesn’t the government ask the experts first! Did you read that the government were looking to America to recruit the new head of Ofsted. Not sure I understand the logic behind that, would it not be better to recruit someone who actually has experience of the education system in the UK?
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I have tremendous respect for teachers as both my sister and brother-in-law are teachers. They are constantly forced to rip the creativity out of the classroom. My sister has said she isn’t teaching her students how to write, she is teaching them how to pass a test. It is a shame that this is a global problem with education. I wish you the best and think that you made a brave and courageous decision that your children will benefit from greatly. Thanks for linking up with the #FabFridayPost
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Thank you so much, that is really kind of you to say. It is so sad that good teachers like your sister and brother-in-law feel like there is no room for creativity but sadly it also very true
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I left teaching 2 years ago and despite missing the reason I trained in the first place - to hopefully inspire and nurture the children in my class, it is the best thing I ever did. It makes me sad to say that but I would echo every point you made. Sad times for the children in our schools :(
Enjoy your time with your family! #BloggerClubUK
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It is indeed sad times for the children in our schools, which I think is why it is even more important that I am able to stay at home and support my two. Thanks for your comment :-)
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You sound like a fabulous teacher, and when I was at school if I were lucky enough to have you you probably would’ve been one of my favourites! I can’t believe the government are letting children Dyment so much, learning should be engaging, exciting and fun and yet it doesn’t seem to be once you’ve reached a certain level. Good for you for being a stay at home mum! You put the fun back into learning for your children, and allow creativity to flow which is what children need Xxx #BloggerClubUk
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Thank you for such a lovely comment :-) x
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This is pretty much my life - but I am still at it and, at times, I think it is destroying me. With a 3yo recently diagnosed as autistic and a 1yo and over an hour’s drive to work, I am spreading myself far too thinly and something has got to give. And this is even though I am part-time now. I have a post planned on it in a few weeks actually - look out for it. I have a massive pile of Year 11 essays that I should be doing now. And completely agree about new measures sucking the joy out of teaching and learning - at secondary and primary level. In this climate and with your young family you have done the best thing for you. xx #BloggerClubUK
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Oh I am so sad to read that this is your experience of teaching too. It is so hard being a Mum and a teacher and you have that long commute too. I have friends that went part-time and I really feel that in some ways that seemed to add to the work load even more, if that makes sense? It seemed to cause extra work especially if you are sharing a class with a teacher and on the days you shouldn’t be working you find yourself trying to catch up on the marking. Please let me know when you publish your post I would love to read it. xx
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Yeah it definitely does make some things harder - managing lesson planning, marking etc between two teachers. There are always a million people I need to find or email to arrange stuff! I will definitely let you know when I post. I submitted it to ‘Secret Teacher’ so just waiting to make sure The Guardian definitely don’t want me 😂 It’s not happy reading!
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It might not be happy reading but these things need to be said. I will have my finges crossed for you about The Guardian. You never know! Exciting.
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This is like reading my own story, apart from the fact I was in nursing. And from the story you tell, teaching and nursing have gone exactly the same way. Like me, many of my colleagues have also left the profession for the same reasons. Although I missed it desperately when I left, I am thankful now that I am no longer a pawn in the political game that it has become!
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I have been reading a lot in the press about what Drs and Nurses now have to endure and it sounds awful. I don’t know how anyone does it. The government really needs to stop interfering and let the professionals get on their with jobs!
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It sounds like you made the right decision for your family for sure. Its sad but it sounds like teaching is just yet another profession to have the life sucked out of. It’s such a shame as it sounds like you really loved your job! #BestandWorst
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I did love it but at least I get to spend more time with my family now. Thanks for your comment :-)
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Hey, I had to stop by and read this as i am (?) seriously considering retraining as a teacher. Might just rethink now! As a mum of two I realise it’ll be hard work - maybe later in life it’d be more feasible?
#bestandworst
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I would still consider it as it is a really rewarding job and I would hate to put anyone off. Just be aware that it can be hard finding the work/life balance and that there are the other issues that I mention in my post relating to government changes. However, there are people that do manage it and love it. I would say that it is harder when your children are younger. If it is an option I would perhaps try and get some voluntary work in a local school and speak to the teachers and that way you can see for yourself.
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That is just what I was thinking of doing. Thanks for sharing a little positivity too, it seems such a rewarding career but does get a lot of bad press… X
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Yes it does but on the other hand it is also a job that I still miss. If you are looking for a job that will challenge you but reward you too then it is worth considering. :-)
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What a lovely post. I think sometimes you just have to make those difficult decisions. Thanks for linking up #bestandworst
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Thanks for your lovely comment :-)
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This is so sad for the education system and the pupils who will no longer have you as a teacher but utterly right for you. I sincerely hope the current Minister of Education reads this. #FabFridayPost
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Thanks Rosie, that is a lovely thing to say :-)
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I’m a primary teacher and totally relate to so much of what you have said. The current situation in education terrifies me. I worry for my childrens future. Something needs to change. Thanks for linking to #PickNMix
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Thanks for your comment. It is scary isn’t it. I worry that the amount of homework oldest has to do is going to end up putting her off learning.
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I think it’s great that you are a full-time mum & that you are enjoying it. It would be difficult to balance work & raising a family especially with the changes in the education system. It’s a terrible shame that great teachers are leaving due to the new regulations. It would be great if children could be seen as individuals with individual learning styles & needs. And as you said - a little creativity in the classroom. Thanks so much for sharing with blogger club uk x
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Thanks for your lovely comment x
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Fab post. Our kids go to the International school here in Malta. We’ve gone to hell and back recently as we are struggling with the fees but the curriculum which is nothing like the traditional teaching systems and is all about empowering the student and encouraging creativity is just brilliant. I look at my house falling to bits around me with the number of things that need fixing or doing for the first time as they were never done and I KNOW that if we pull our 3 kids out and put them in a state school here we can do it all and have some left over for a holiday (yes even though we live in the Med we still need holidays!). But we just can’t face pulling them out of a school that is fab. I’m so sorry Gove killed education and killed your spirit. But I guess your daughter doesn’t hate him for giving her mum back. #BigPinkLinky
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Any school that encourages creativity and empowers the student is amazing. It sounds like your children are attending a school that is really inspiring so money well spent I would say :-) And that is the first time anyone has managed to make me see the goodness in Gove but you’re right thanks to Gove my kids have me back at home. He’s all heart really-haha
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Oh my word I typed an entire comment and I think it’s just disappeared before I even sent it!! Ugh. Oh well I’ll just say fab post! #BigPinkLink #BloggerClubUK
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So interesting. My parents were both teachers and headteachers, and my dad went on to Ofsted, HMI, and Director of Education is a number of LEAs. They are both retired now, but neither of them approve of where this government has taken education. I had always been torn between teaching & what I eventually did, and I think I probably should have gone with teaching. So, as I will not return to my previous career when my kids start school, I had considered trying to retrain as a teacher. However, unless things change, I doubt I will. I disagree too strongly with Gove & Morgan, and I don’t think I could work in the system they have created. #KCACOLS
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I was interested to read that your Mum and Dad (with their experience in the education sector) don’t agree with what the government is doing. It is such a shame for our children and because of the teachers that are now leaving the profession and also because it is putting potential teachers (like yourself) off.
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What a fantastic post!! I like honest and real posts!!! This is something very interesting and I agree with you. That is why my daughter goes to an independent and small private school where the teaching is different. They are more relaxed. They encourage the children’s skills and creativity. The classes are very small so they receive a personalised approach. The teachers can care better about their pupils and there is a beautiful community. It is just a shame that we have to pay for it and now my worry is that in a few years we will have to put my second daughter at school and I don’t think we will be able to afford 2 kids at a private school so it will be a difficult decision to make. I guess for now we just have to enjoy what this school can bring to my daughter at the moment. I’m sorry to hear that you will not come back to teaching again even though it is your passion but it is so nice to hear how happy you are to be able to spend more time with your family. Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS and also for co-hosting with me this week!! You are doing an amazing job!! :-) xx
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Thanks, your daughter’s school sounds AMAZING! That is a school I would be very happy for my daughter to attend and I would be very happy to teach there too :-)
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