I once read a quote, and now I can’t for the life of me remember who said it, but it was something like “we are responsible for our own happiness.” All too often we can be quick to blame outside circumstances for our mood. I have always done this. When I worked as a teacher my whole personality changed. I constantly felt pent-up, exhausted, stressed and on edge. The only time I would relax would be over the summer holidays, when slowly I would gradually uncoil and unwind. However, it wasn’t the job making me this way, it was the way I was reacting to the job.
Yes, there are outside circumstances that can make life challenging and difficult but how we react to those situations defines us. I have found myself in house moving limbo and, as such, my sleep has become even more erratic and my moods have started swinging like an out of control pendulum. My anxiety is at an all-time high. I am just not a good person when it comes to dealing with situations that are out of my control. So I have made some changes. I could sit here and let the feeling of restlessness fester or I could do something proactive. I chose to do something proactive.
I have been looking after myself better and I have been actively seeking joy. I know that this is sounds very hippyish but stay with me because it has made a massive difference to my general wellbeing and outlook on life.
Not Letting The Fear Eat Away At Me
I have always been a good one for worrying. I worry about us not finding a house, I worry about the fact I don’t have a pension, I worry about the fact my freelance contract could come to an end. I worry about a lot of things I have no control over. I have decided that I need to let go of the fear. I have let go of the things I have no control over. The things I can deal with – like pensions – I have mentally filed away to deal with in the future.
Trying New Things
Life is there to be enjoyed. This year I am determined to get over my fear (see letting go of the fear) of the sea and perhaps take up paddle boarding. I am also accepting new opportunities (all will be revealed soon) and I am just determined to embrace life.
Giving Up Alcohol
First of all I recognised that even one glass of wine was making me feel unbearably anxious and so I decided to do the 100 days no drinking challenge. As I type this I am on day 46. By the time this post goes live I will be over half-way. Not drinking might not have made me feel particularly less anxious but I have become better at dealing with my feelings and understanding why I am feeling that way. However, I am still waiting to become that morning person.
Reading
Going to bed early and reading a good book is perfect me time. It gives me space to breathe and I become absorbed in another world for 30 minutes or more. It’s the only time I am able to quieten the whirring cogs of the brain.
Walking
Now Gary has been removed I fully intend to get back to exercising. I am starting off slowly and for now I am enjoying walking. I am finding a spare half hour in my day and I am taking myself off for a walk in the countryside. No music, it’s just me walking in the sunshine, listening to the birdsong and enjoying the views.
Be In The Now
Enjoy the moment. That means sometimes putting down your phone. That means really listening to your children when they share their day. That means doing something spontaneous, leaving the work and making the most of the beach at the end of the road.
Baking And Cooking
There is just something really therapeutic about baking a cake. It also feels really good when you cook for yourself and make the decision to eat healthily. I guess Maslow would say that this is because we are fulfilling one of our most basic needs. All I know is that it feels good. A take-away might make for a nice treat every now and again but cooking for ourselves can be a calming experience.
Embracing Change And Staying Positive
Sometimes life won’t go as planned and we can feel lost as a result. Instead we need to change our mindset. We need to remind ourselves that this will pass, we need to look at the bigger picture where possible. Change can be hard but we need to find that small glimmer of positivity when everything else feels chaotic.
Social Media Detox
I am trying to be better with my social media. I am no longer feeling like I have to post to Instagram every day. I am switching my phone off some evenings and I am generally trying to spend less time on my phone. Every now and again I will take 24 hours off social media and that is really great for a recharge.
These 9 little things can make all of the difference to how I am feeling. Do you have any tricks for lifting your mood, or any great ways for finding the joy?
Love love love this post. I remember towards the end of last year I was really struggling with anxiety, I was back in work after maternity leave and I just felt completely overwhelmed. It was a horrible time for me. I decided in the New Year I would not allow myself to feel like that anymore. I had to accept I was back in work and learn to enjoy it again. I needed to address my anxiety and find ways that would hep (social media breaks always help with this) and I simply changed my mindset. It really helped. xx
Changing your mindset is the key! When we realise that we are the ones in control of our happiness, it makes a massive difference 🙂 It can still be hard at times though!
This is such a great post. I’m a worrier too and I’ve found that it can consume me if I let it. But a change in attitude and just being conscious of things can make all the difference. I definitely find getting outdoors for a walk somewhere and connecting with nature hugely helpful. And I love gardening – I find it so calming, accepting that you need to take things slowly and be patient, and accepting that sometimes you can do everything right and still you won’t get the outcome you hoped for. That’s just how nature can be.
We have just moved house and have our own garden and I’m looking forward to gardening as I think it will be brilliant for managing stress x
I have suffered with anxiety since childhood without really realising I was. It started at primary school with little things like having to stand up in assembly or reading out loud in front of the class – my heart would beat so hard. I still worry about everything even now – nobody sees it as I have such a calm persona. Social media breaks are the best!
Taking social media breaks I think is key. Sometimes we just need to take time out and focus on ourselves x
I love this Emma! I’m a really anxious person and so much I could relate to. I’ve been working on letting go of the things that I can’t control and things that have already happened and I can’t change them now. I also think I will never be that morning person!!!
I’ve come to the conclusion that no one really is a morning person 😉
I love this and I am very much the same in that I try to find joy in each day, and more than that, ways to take a moment just for ME. Reading has always been my escape and is still very much so, and even if I get just a few moments to escape with a book, it helps me to focus!
These all sound like really good ideas. There are a couple that really resonate with me espically the giving up of alcohol. I am sure it affects my level of grumpiness even just a glass seems to affect me. I also think turning off from social media is something which I am trying to do more. To varying levels of success! But I am getting better. Wishing you all the best with your journey lovely xx